8/1/11 - Hello, August; Goodbye, Friend

It's August! WOW, I can't even believe it.

Today was pretty much Monday as usual. We did have some pretty crazy storms early in the day, which made things interesting. Our building was shaking from the thunder! I haven't seen a daytime storm like that in a long time. I ended up leaving a little early to get some stuff done. I stopped into Target because, per usual, I forgot a few things on our trip yesterday. Big surprise! After Target, it was home to do some cleaning. Everything was back in it's place, I did the dishes and then had a little me time and uploaded our latest pictures while I waited for the rest of the house to arrive home. Pretty exciting stuff!

Finally, I whipped up some dinner and and we took a nice family walk around the neighborhood. I try to make this a nightly thing, but something always comes up...or Christian ends up working too late and we just don't get time. It's nice and relaxing when we do though. Except as we pull up to the house, Olivia always exclaims "I don't want to go home". Apparently living in a Toys R Us outlet is not appealing enough for her.

My big news for the day...I am no longer pumping. It kind of breaks my heart. I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about it. I feel guilty for stopping, but proud that I made it 1 Year+. I feel free from that "little" black bag, but kind of lost with out it. I am disappointed that my extra special bonding with Amelia is coming to an end, but joyed to have experienced that closeness with her. In the end, it was the right decision. Last week I barely pumped enough for one of her two bottles every day, so I was already dipping into my freezer stash. As hard as it is, I'm ready. I'm trying to focus on the positives (which, are all pretty selfish, but valid reasons)...I can diet now without worry, I can use my breaks at work to walk, and my lunch to actually eat, I have a little extra free time which will come in handy. I am still nursing Amelia before bed, but that will probably only last through this week so that I don't explode. So, goodbye to my friend, my pump. Maybe we'll meet again in the future ;)

My mom recently sent home a wooden grill for the girls. We put it together (which was a much more lengthy process then we anticipated), and the girls LOVE it!

7/31/11 - Family Fun Day

Well, we had a fun filled family day today, even though is was, yet again, disgustingly hot out.

We had some breakfast, hung out and spent the morning getting ready for the day. In my attempt to start shopping the sales, I spent some time going over the grocery ad's, and then was off to Cub and Rainbow to do part of my shopping while Christian got the girls dressed. Then, the girls and I were off with my mom again in another attempt to check out the apartment she was going to look at yesterday. Today's trip was much more successful, so that was good.

Once home, we were all off on a family trip to Target to finish off our shopping. The girls started getting very antsy by the end of the trip, so lunch and naps were not far behind. During nap time, Christian filled the pool and was off to his parents to drop off some stuff, while I started on laundry and did a little cleaning up in the basement. Once nap time ended, we headed outside for some more pool time, Christian grilled some dinner and we just spent the evening hanging out, folding clothes, watching some TV and trying to keep the girls from killing each other. Olivia was yet again at her evil ways, and Christian and I were yet again at our wits end. She seemed to be getting better when I was home with the girls, but since I went back to work, she is worse than ever. It's getting beyond frustrating, and we're both still at a complete loss of what to do.

Here are a few pictures from our outside play today. The pool felt like a hot tub about 30 minutes after being filled up. It was actually kind of gross.

7/30/11 - A Little of Everything

Saturday...a Saturday more like I'm used to!

Olivia was up to her old tricks times 10 today, and was harassing Amelia all day long...starting pretty much from the minute they woke up. She's either being downright mean to Amelia, or she just won't give her any space, and Christian and I were both at our wits end with her today. Like normal, I didn't get a chance to get to the grocery store this week, so we were off to Perkins for breakfast today. YUM! After that, the girls and I went with my mom to check out an apartment (for her), while Christian took to yard duty. Unfortunately, the person that was supposed to be showing my mom the apartment didn't show up (she later called and explained some unfortunate circumstances came up, so we'll be going back).

Once Christian finished up his work, we played in the water for a while. I couldn't take much more of the heat, so inside we went for some lunch and naps. I fully intended on going to grab a few groceries while the girls napped, but as soon as I sat down, I realized just how hot I was, and that I really wasn't feeling too hot. So, I ended up taking a little nap myself.

After naps, we played outside for a while longer...we blew up the bounce house and just spent a little time goofing around. It was a pretty low key evening...dinner, watched a little TV. Olivia again started acting up, now towards up on top of it, so it was definitely off to bed. I swear, some days I just don't know what we're going to do with that girl!

Here are some pictures from today's play time!

7/29/11 - Check-Up

Today was Amelia's 1 year check-up. Her appointment was 9:30...I know it doesn't really sound THAT early, but when you have to get up, get ready and get two little girls up and ready and loaded into the car, plus drive the 25 minutes into the city because you refuse to change clinics...its early. I have to make their appointments early though, because our pediatrician tends to get very behind, and it's better than waiting in the waiting from for an hour. It sucks when you are the one waiting for him, but it's nice once you are in with him, and he takes the time to really answer all of your questions and develop a personal relationship with you. So, you just have to take the bad with the good sometimes.

I woke up shortly after Christian left for work to shower and get ready. The girls remained passed out after their late night. I actually had to wake them up to get them ready to go. I felt so bad, but they cooperated pretty well.

The appointment went well. Amelia weight in at 18lbs9ozs, which puts her in the 10% (and she's up 3.3lbs since 9 months). Honestly, I find this extremely hard to believe. They had her sit on the adult scale rather than using the infant scale, so I think the read is off a little just because of that. I just cannot believe that it took her 9 months to double her birth weight, yet she packs on over 3lbs in the next 3 months? Not likely. She only measured in at 27.5", also in the 10% (and only up .75" since 9 months). So, she's just a petite little flower all around.

Everything else went well. Her lungs are still clear, so he's still not too concerned about her breathing or snoring. Her ears, eyes and everything else looked great. She's meeting and exceeding all of the developmental milestones and is doing well. She got her shots, and did NOT care for them in the least bit. But, both the girls got stickers and lollipops out of the deal, so I guess it was worth it. So, that was it until 15 months. Hard to believe 15 months is really just around the corner!

After the appointment, we ate some lunch and took some naps. This was the best nap time in a LONG time! We ate a little dinner while we waited for Christian to get home, then were all off to the park for a while. It's still super hot out, so we didn't last too long, but it was nice to get away for a while. Then, we all played downstairs for while, until it was time for bed. Now, we're just looking forward to a weekend of no plans. YAY!

Here are some pictures from our evening.

7/28/11 - This Can't Be...

Today was another pretty typical day. HAPPILY, it was my Friday at work. We were told that we had to work all 8's and didn't get our flex day this pay period because we didn't have a full pay period (1 day short), but luckily my boss is letting me work around the system a little bit. It's nice particularly because I would have to take tomorrow off regardless, so it helps me save a little vacation time.

Our big plan for tonight was a trip to the Rice Street Parade. I grew up on "Rice Street", in the heart of St. Paul, and every year they have a festival. As the area has gone downhill, the festival has too, but it's tradition, so we still go. Last year I was unable to go because we had just gotten home from the hospital, and Amelia was under the biliblanket...it was the first time I've ever missed it. So, after work my mom and I grabbed some dinner, while Christian picked up his mom and the girls. We all met up at the parade, and it was about how I expected.

The floats and groups in the parade were nothing exciting. Within 15 minutes of the parade stating, huge masses of ghetto people started running up and down the sidewalks and fights were breaking out all over the place. Once the [very short] parade ended, we grabbed the girls some food, and it was time to head home. I was honestly afraid to walk the few blocks to my car after seeing what was going on all night. This is where I grew up...where I lived, went to school, walked the streets and hung out. I was never scared, never worried, never thought much of it. Now, I don't even want to drive through the area, or walk a couple blocks. It's hard to believe, and it's very sad.

After the parade, the girls needed a quick bath, and then it was time for bed. First week back to work down, and hoping that I actually adjust to it soon! Here is a pic from the parade.

7/27/11 - Still Not Adjusting

Nope, not adjusting. Not adjusting at all. Not interested in getting up at 5:00AM, or leaving my girls for all of those hours, or working 9.5 hours, but 1 hour drive time. There is still absolutely no part of me that wants to be at work, and it's killing me. I've always loved working...it was a huge part of who I am, and I do still feel that way. But I just can't shake that feeling that I should be home with my girls. That guilt. Oh, I hate that guilt.

But, I feel back into the swing of things at least. It feels good connecting with my close co-workers again, and diving back into things. As I talked with said co-workers, we came upon the realization that somehow I was still buried under my inbox, including many new requests, yet everyone else appears to be rather caught up right now. I did not really care for that realization. Oh well, like I always say, busy makes the day go fast!

I was still overwhelmed by the thought of Amelia being one now. I mean, I have a one and a two year old, how is that remotely possible?!? To think, a year ago we were in the hospital, VERY few visitors, and plenty of time to relax and stare at our newest family member. I was still beaming with pride, not only over her wonderfulness, but with my own hard work and success. I swear, I can remember those first few days like they were yesterday...

I've definitely said it before, but today I made the decision to get myself back on track. Next Monday, diet and exercise are going to become my best friends. I spent some time today coming up with a daily schedule to see how I can fit everything in. I am going to get back into my menu planning, which helps a lot both financially and in staying on track. I am going to start walking the tunnels at work on my breaks, and doing that 60 Day Slimdown program I have. I have way too many reasons to do this, and be successful, to just keep avoiding it. So, here's hoping I can really stick to it and do what I need to do...finally!

Here is Amelia's One Year photo…she has graduated to the banister, just like her big sister!

7/26/11 – One Year

One Year.

It’s hard to believe, it’s been one year since Amelia Grace entered our lives. That day, filled with so many emotions, so much joy, happiness, anxiety, stress, excitement…and of course, pain! It was a truly amazing day, etched into my mind forever. At 6:12AM, our lives became that much more complete.

A year full of longing cries, sleepless nights, sloppy kisses and real hugs. A year full of amazing firsts….first smile, first laugh, first time rolling across the room, first time sitting up, first time crawling into trouble, first time standing on your own and first time walking across the house as if you’d been doing it forever. A year full of giggles, screams and cries. A year full of adventures you will never remember, but I will never forget.

Amelia Grace, such a beautiful, sweet, cuddly drama queen. One year ago, you were born. Now, at One, you are no longer walking, but running from one corner of the house to the other. You have no problem climbing the stairs, getting in and out of the bathtub, on and off the couch and everything else you can reach those tiny little knees atop. You are STILL wearing 6-9 month clothes (even though I’ve sworn for the last 2-3 months that you were growing out of them…) and Size 2 diapers (which you truly ARE growing out of, and WILL be moving up after our current box is used up). We have your one year check-up on Friday, so I’m not sure where you are at in height and weight yet, but I know you are still a peanut, that’s for sure! You still say mom and mama all day, every day, but your new favorite word seems to be “more”, particularly when eating, and you have let a “dada” slip out a time or two this month. You are still 100% breastfed…that’s right folks, I made it to ONE YEAR, working full time, through struggles and stressful times. I am so proud of myself! You are shy, and loving, and have an infectious smile that I cannot get enough of. You are One, and you are amazing. We love you more than words could ever describe!

Today, unfortunately, was business as usual. Because of the shutdown, I couldn’t take the day off like I had been hoping to. So, off to work we went. Thankfully, she was awake when I dropped her off this morning, so I was able to shower her with happy birthday kisses! The day, again, dragged on forever. I am still very annoyed to be at work, and hoping that feeling ends soon. Christian doesn’t think he’ll be working any more OT for a while, but we’ll see how long that actually lasts.

After work, I had to do some fiddling with our budget now that I’m back to work and can actually do so. I later met up with Christian and the girls for dinner. Finally, the girls had their birthday cupcakes, we sang to Amelia (over and over again), and then it was time for bed. After Amelia finished eating and fell asleep, I just held her staring at her in amazement for a while….probably exactly what I was doing one year ago!

What an emotional day, that’s for sure! Here are a couple snaps of the birthday girl!

7/25/11 – Back to the “Real World”

Well, it’s official. I am back to work. In many, MANY ways, things are as if we’d never let. The drama is still there. The work is twice as much. The mornings are early. The questions are non-stop. I pretty much just hung out in my cubicle, going through e-mails and trying to remember where I’d left everything, eventually just jumping right back into it.

There is honestly no part of me that is happy to be back to work, and I never in a million years thought I would say that. Both times I was out on maternity leave, I couldn’t wait to get back to work by the end. But, being home with a newborn is much different than being home with toddlers. I got to sleep in every day, hang out with my girls all day, go to playgrounds and sprinkler parks and other fun things, get chores around the house done on a daily basis, enjoy long nap times giving me lots of “me” time…it was great, on so many levels. To top it all off, with me on unemployment, we were better off financially than with me working, which makes it even more frustrating. But, alas, we can’t just hang out on unemployment, and the bills don’t pay themselves. It makes a very large part of me regret buying our “forever” home so young…hopefully that decision pays off down the road!

After work, I sped home as quickly as I could. Olivia ended up throwing a fit when Christian was trying to load them up to come home, so he left her at his mom's thinking she'd be crying for him before he left the driveway. Well, much to our surprise, she never did. She ended up spending the night over there, and I was kind of bummed about that. But, it did give me time to finish up Amelia’s One Year video. We pretty much just ate some dinner and hung out for the night. I do know, it’s never felt better to get home from work!

Here is Amelia's finished video, it makes me cry every time I watch it!

7/24/11 – More Partying!

Well, the girls clearly enjoyed themselves yesterday…they both slept until 9:30 this morning! Whoa! We ate some breakfast, and began getting ready for the day pretty much right away. I hurried off to Target to buy a gift because we were off to my BFF’s sons birthday party…he turns 7 tomorrow, and THAT is really hard to believe! So, off we went. They had the party at a place called “Grand Slam”…they have some different games and sporting activities for the kids to play. Olivia couldn’t do much, but we kept her entertained.

After some lunch, cake and presents, we headed home because the girls were very sleepy, and getting crabby. The girls fell asleep on the way home and took a pretty decent nap. While they did that, Christian loaded up the table, chairs and other various items we’d borrowed from his parents for the party, and returned them. I went through Amelia’s birthday presents, did a little cleaning up, and relaxed for a while. I was still pretty exhausted after the last few days, so it was nice to get some time off my feel. And, of course, it was time to prepare the working world again.

Christian grabbed some dinner on his way home, we ate and hung out for a while, and then it was time for bed. Hopefully the girls will sleep nice and sound tonight, because that 5:00AM wakeup call is going to be ROUGH tomorrow!

Here is a picture of the birthday boy today! And, the girls took turns stealing my Icee today, Olivia loved it, and Amelia apparently thought it was hilarious. LOL.

7/23/11 – Birthday Party Day!

It’s hard to believe, and it breaks my heart to say it, but today was Amelia’s birthday party! How can it be true, how can my teeny tiny baby be turning one?! I just don’t know!

Even though the party didn’t start until 3:00, and Olivia was at my mom’s, we were still running around like chickens with our heads cut off all morning. Seriously, we are never quite prepared enough for our parties, that’s for sure. With a lot of help from our moms, we got all of the tables set up outside, set up the pools, made the food, did our decorating, showered and got ready, just as the guests started arriving. Christian manned the grill all afternoon, and I tried to mingle, snap some pictures and keep the party moving along. We had the typical grillin’ kind of food, cupcakes, cake and ice cream. The pools were not as big of a hit as I’d expected, but they got a little use. The bounce house (our gift to Amelia, since they’re cheaper to buy than to rent, and now we’ll have it forever!) was a hit for a while. We did presents and a piñata. It was a very fun and emotional day. The guests slowly started leaving, and by 9:30 most everyone was gone. We gave the girls a quick bath and put them down to bed, then spent a little time with our friends Dan and Michelle. We chatted for a while and watched a movie…it was nice getting some grown up time and having a chance to catch up with some friends.

The day was long, chaotic and tons of fun. Most of all, exhausting! We had a few no-shows, which is always pretty disappointing, but we were surrounded by a lot of wonderful friends and family members, Amelia received some very cute, very great presents, and all in all, everything was a success. Celebrating the life of a child, there is nothing better!

Here are some pictures from the party. I didn’t get as many as I would’ve liked. Amelia was pretty shy and tired most of the day, so I didn’t want to push her into taking pictures and frustrate her. I got a few good ones though!