2014- Week 27

Monday marked officially one month until I’m back to work. Seriously, where does the time go?!? It’s so unfair, I’m SO not ready. After a good night of sleep, the day ended up being quite frustrating. She continues having trouble eating and nursing has become very frustrating again. It’s like newborn painful all over again, constant, and she’s super fussy. While she’s growing, latching and I’m definitely producing milk, nursing has been a challenge this time around. My feelings have been really negative towards it…I feel tied down, I feel like I can’t go anywhere or do anything. The pain coming and going has been miserable. It’s just been rough. Nothing like with Amelia. While she nursed a TON in the first couple of months, I never felt like this. I’m hoping that I can overcome these feelings and stop myself from giving up. I’m debating adding in some formula supplementing, but we’ll see. I haven’t made a decision yet. I don’t want to…I’d love for her to make it the full year formula-free, like Amelia, but if it saves my sanity, I think it may be best for everybody. Every day I just wake up and pep talk myself into making it through one more day. Aside from that frustration, the big girls were home with us and they were OUT OF CONTROL, all day long. They just drive each other insane. They fight non-stop, they argue over everything, they pick on each other. It’s just exhausting. ALL.DAY.LONG. I’ve never had a sibling, but I think it’s completely over the top. All I know is, them going back to school full time when I return to work is going to be a blessing for many. They need the separation, they need the time apart, or I’m pretty sure they are going to kill each other. Luckily, we all survived the day though. We had some dinner, Christian took them outside to play for a while before bed, and they last day of June came to an end.

Tuesday brought us a new month. It’s officially July…we’re officially halfway through 2014. Can you believe it! This year is just buzzing by! The big girls were back off to school today, so things were slightly less chaotic. I loaded up the clothes I wasn’t able to finish drying this weekend (thanks to the broken dryer), and headed across the street to our friend Sara’s house. She let me take over her dryer, and we spent some time catching up and visiting. She got in lots of baby cuddles while I got a little break, and folded laundry. It was definitely nice to get out of the house for a little while. Once home, I got Eliza fed, put her in her swing, and eventually she passed out, all on her own! It’s rare, but man do I love when that happens. While she slept, I ate some lunch myself and did a little cleaning around the house. Things were moving along smoothly, until some a**hole solicitor knocked on the door…OVER AND OVER again (I do not answer the door, especially when home alone), sending our annoying Chihuahua into a tizzy. Luckily for everybody involved, Eliza somehow slept through it, or this guy would have been lucky to leave our doorstep alive. I HATE SOLICITORS! I need a sign, for real. Our neighbors have one…they are must smarter than I. Eliza woke up refreshed and we had a good evening. Christian picked the girls up on his way home, we had some dinner, took baths and relaxed. Tonight I was reminded of one of the reasons I adore co-sleeping so much (and, trust me, there was a day I thought people were insane for doing such a thing…childless and naïve!). As I was getting Eliza to sleep, laying her down, she woke up. I started to panic, thinking we were going to have to start our whole little routine over again, but she just caught my eye, gave me a little smirk and drifted off to sleep. It’s so perfect. She just seemed so at ease, realizing that sure enough, I was still cuddled up right next to her. I just love this girls to pieces!

Wednesday marked Olivia’s ½ birthday! She is official 5½, and she will definitely tell you so! It honestly feels like just yesterday she was born. It feels like it was just HER so small and helpless, needing me for everything. She’s definitely not my baby anymore (technically anyway)…she’s so smart, so full of life. She’s a giant, ready to start kindergarten in just over 2 months. She’s become my little helper, and loves taking care of Eliza. I can’t believe how fast time goes, and how lucky we are to get to watch her grow up and become her own person. It’s just truly amazing. While she and that naughty 3 year old were off to school for the day, Eliza and I had a pretty standard day around the house. Pretty quiet in fact. Christian left work a tad early to run to an appliance store and get the pieces he needs to fix the dryer. Then, spent the evening fixing said dryer. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…I’m so lucky to have a husband who loves to take apart cars and appliances and attempt to fix them. I can’t imagine the money we’d have spent over the years if he didn’t!

Olivia also turned 5 1/2 today! So crazy, she's growing up!

On Thursday, it started becoming very apparent that Eliza just does not like to nap. I try so hard to get her to nap and she just fights it with all of her might. One, maybe 2 days a week she takes a nice, good, lengthy nap. Otherwise, it’s cat nap heaven around here. It wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t clearly exhausted, and clearly needing a real nap, because man does she get crabby. I think part of the problem is that she can be a pretty lazy nurser and likes to doze off on and off while eating. That should work itself out as she gets a little older though. And, I just have to say, I HATE the dog next door. Well, maybe I should rephrase that…I hate the owners of the dog next door. We live next to quad-homes, and the one right next to us has a dog…a big dog, retrieverish. Of course they have no yard and/or fence, so they chain him up every time he goes outside. He immediately starts barking/yipping and continues to do so the entire time he’s out. Today he was out there a large majority of the day, and I was getting beyond fed up (with the noise, and the fact that this poor dog was chained up by himself all day). I was thisclose to calling the police station about it, but thought better of it. He’s not being abused by any means, and I’m returning to work in a few weeks and won’t have to deal with it much after that, so it wasn’t worth rocking the neighbor boat. It was probably the first time I’ve been grateful for Chuy…while he drives me pretty crazy, he rarely barks, and never really does when outside, so at least I don’t have to deal with that. Tonight I was a pretty hormonal basket case. Tomorrow is the 4^th of July. Typically, we have friends and family over for the local parade, a BBQ and we light off some fireworks. I decided I had already been roped into 3 BBQ’s that I did not want to host since having Eliza, I just was not in the mood for a 4^th of July one this year. I wanted to actually relax and enjoy the holiday this year, rather than run around like crazy making sure everybody else enjoyed it. Christian still insists on lighting off fireworks tomorrow, even though I told him he’ll be doing it by himself because I’m taking the girls to watch the REAL fireworks this year. So, I made him get some little, fun fireworks and sparklers to do with the girls tonight, and planned on having a bonfire and some s’mores. Of course, he was busy running all over until pretty late, and by the time he got home Eliza was so crabby and would not go to sleep for anything. So, I had to stay inside getting her to sleep while they had a bonfire…I felt so overwhelmed, so hormonal, it was ridiculous. Like I had explained earlier this week, I felt like I was missing out on everything (while I could nurse her and try to get her to sleep out in the yard, I didn’t want her by the bonfire obviously). While logically I know that it’s one time, and we have plenty of bonfire opportunities in the future, I can’t think logically in the moment. Just not my day.

My throwback Thursday this week, in honor of the 4th of July tomorrow, was a picture of watch of the girls' first 4th of July. So Cute!

Friday was officially the 4^th of July. While it felt very strange to not be preparing for a house full of friends and family, it felt pretty amazing to have a nice, relaxing morning. We had some breakfast and hung out around the house all morning, we loaded up the wagon and stroller and walked down to our spot along the parade route and settled in (yes, OUR spot…if you want to actually see the parade, you must go out the day before the parade and reserve your spot. It’s ridiculous to me.). The girls had such a great time. Each year they get more and more into the parade. They get more candy, they admire the floats and entertainment a little more, they appreciate everything a little more. It’s fun to watch. Eliza happened to sleep through most of the parade (somehow, loud marching bands and all), which made for a more relaxing day for us as well. After the parade, we stopped home to change and feed Eliza, then made our way to the local carnival for a few hours. Olivia’s BFF, Bella, and her dad met us there so the girls had a blast playing together and going on all of the rides. They had a special $10.00 unlimited ride wristband going on, so that was AWESOME! They got to go on each ride a couple times and were so excited. Eliza again slept through most of the event…clearly, she’s making up for her lack of sleep the last few days. We let the big girl play one game…where you throw the ping pong balls into fish bowls. Well, Christian helped them, and of course, we went home with two Goldfish (I don’t have faith that they will last long). We all made our way back to the house to let off the girls’ fireworks and relax for a while. We brought Eliza’s swing outside, and she eventually dozed off, again, for a while. A couple more friends stopped over to hang out (while it wasn’t planned, it was informal, so not stressful!) and watch the little fireworks…and they hung out to do the big fireworks with Christian, while the girls and I were off to my mom’s to watch the real fireworks. She can see the fireworks in her city right from her balcony, so it was very convenient. The big girls ate some food, I fed the baby, and we settled in just in time to watch the show. So cool – I hadn’t seen a real fireworks display in years – in fact, I don’t think Amelia ever has, and Olivia was just an itty bitty, so they were pretty excited. We made our way home right after the show, and straight to bed. All in all, this year was a perfect 4^th of July!

Saturday was a lovely, lazy (HOT) day. With the holiday, we didn’t have swim lessons this week, so the morning was nice and relaxed. No rushing out the door bright and early for this crew! We had breakfast, played outside for a while and just hung out. After a while, we packed up and headed over our friend Mariano’s apartment so the girls could play with Bella and we could all enjoy the day by his pool. The girls would not get out of the water for anything. I did a little swimming, and then a little sunbathing, and it was perfection. Eliza continued her wonderful routine for the weekend and just slept the afternoon away by the pool. We’ve been getting mighty lucky with her sleeping, that’s for sure! After we were all waterlogged enough, we went back to Mariano’s place for some pizza and playtime for the girls. By the time we arrived home, it was basically bedtime, and we were all exhausted! Sun and water, nothing better to make a couple of little girls pass right out!

Sunday was a pretty low key day around the house. I did some laundry and a little picking up (but, of course, being on leave it’s wonderful that I don’t actually have to worry about finishing my chores…It’s one thing I really relish in during my maternity leave, actually having time to get stuff done!), we hung out with the girls and played outside for a while again. Eventually, the big girls were off to spend the night at my mom’s house. She has tomorrow off work, so she has a day out and about planned with them tomorrow. Christian and I decided to take advantage of being 2 kids down, and took a risk heading to Applebee’s for dinner with the babe. It didn’t work out too well…she wanted out of her car seat the minute we got there, and, of course, was starving a few minutes later. We decided to break down and give her her first bottle of formula. I haven’t been pumping a ton…and, I have to make sure I have a little stash of what I do get for when I return to work, and I’ve been debating adding some in for a while, so we gave in and went for it tonight. I wanted a peaceful dinner out, and, I REALLY wanted to indulge in a Perfect Margarita….I’ve been dying for one pretty much since I got pregnant (of course), and tonight was going to be the night! She took the bottle well. I’m feeling a little guilty right now (and, please don’t read that as formula bashing – I absolutely have NOTHING against formula, Olivia was 98% formula fed, and she’s perfect as can be, LOL), but I do think giving ourselves a little flexibility will be helpful in the long run. I was talking to some friends about it and one of them pointed out exactly what I needed to accept…with each child you add to the family, dynamics change. Sometimes things aren’t always as convenient with each added child…sometimes I don’t have an hour to sit down and nurse her when I have a 3 and 5 year old with me needing something. And, I just need to accept that…which I am. I swear.

Olivia drew me a picture of my favorite animal. Pretty dang good if you ask me!

“Funny” story to end the week, I’ve been seeing previews for a new fall show called “Selfie” – it looks horrible – and guess what the lead character’s name is. Guess. ELIZA! What?! I mean, I know the name is not unheard of...but it is pretty dang rare, so that caught me off guard. Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against common names, popular names, etc. I mean, come on…I’m Ashley, my husband is Christian – you don’t get more “normal” than that. When we named Olivia, I swear I had never heard the name before. I know, you think I’m crazy, but it’s true. I think it was really just hitting its peak around the time she was born. Our method for naming Olivia was me looking through a baby name book, making a list of I think 8 names that I really liked, giving it to Christian to narrow it down to what he likes, and we were pretty much left with Olivia. We both really loved it, it just clicked. Once she was born, GOOD LORD it was everywhere. I couldn’t believe it was like #3 on the baby list. How had I not been hearing it around if it was so popular? Anyway, it doesn’t bother me. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous to worry about how common or popular a name may be…especially this day in age. To this day, I’ve never met another Olivia in person, there’s never been one at daycare (in any of the classes), so for as popular as a name might be, it’s not like back when we were kids. Next up was Amelia. I can’t even tell you where Amelia came from…but I stuck to it like glue from the day we found out she was a girl. Christian would not agree to it…yet, would not suggest anything else. So, we were about a week from our due date and he finally agreed. It’s not nearly as popular as Olivia, but it still fairs pretty well. Yet, again, I’ve never met another Amelia in person either. Once she was born, we realized that our girls, and Christian’s three nieces names all end with an “a”, so we decided if we had another girl, it had to keep with that tradition (honest, it was not intentional before that – for us anyway). We also decided we’d stick with a vowel as a first letter like our other girls. When pregnant for the last time, though we didn’t know (for sure) she was a girl, I ended up with two girl names that I really liked, Eliza and Elaina. Again, Christian wasn’t too keen on either. Again, Christian had no suggestions. We literally went to the hospital with no agreement on names, boy or girl. She came out and after some time the nurse asked us if she had a name…I looked at him and he gave in to Eliza. Other than Eliza Doolittle and Eliza the actress from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, I’ve never hear it before (and it’s not super popular on the name lists). Now that this new show is coming out, it’s bound to gain in popularity, even though the show looks horrible. It just cracks me up. Each name has gotten a little more “out there” (and yes, I realize my “out there” is much more tame than most would define it), yet still fairly common.

Until Next Week XOXO