7/28/11 - This Can't Be...

Today was another pretty typical day. HAPPILY, it was my Friday at work. We were told that we had to work all 8's and didn't get our flex day this pay period because we didn't have a full pay period (1 day short), but luckily my boss is letting me work around the system a little bit. It's nice particularly because I would have to take tomorrow off regardless, so it helps me save a little vacation time.

Our big plan for tonight was a trip to the Rice Street Parade. I grew up on "Rice Street", in the heart of St. Paul, and every year they have a festival. As the area has gone downhill, the festival has too, but it's tradition, so we still go. Last year I was unable to go because we had just gotten home from the hospital, and Amelia was under the biliblanket...it was the first time I've ever missed it. So, after work my mom and I grabbed some dinner, while Christian picked up his mom and the girls. We all met up at the parade, and it was about how I expected.

The floats and groups in the parade were nothing exciting. Within 15 minutes of the parade stating, huge masses of ghetto people started running up and down the sidewalks and fights were breaking out all over the place. Once the [very short] parade ended, we grabbed the girls some food, and it was time to head home. I was honestly afraid to walk the few blocks to my car after seeing what was going on all night. This is where I grew up...where I lived, went to school, walked the streets and hung out. I was never scared, never worried, never thought much of it. Now, I don't even want to drive through the area, or walk a couple blocks. It's hard to believe, and it's very sad.

After the parade, the girls needed a quick bath, and then it was time for bed. First week back to work down, and hoping that I actually adjust to it soon! Here is a pic from the parade.

7/27/11 - Still Not Adjusting

Nope, not adjusting. Not adjusting at all. Not interested in getting up at 5:00AM, or leaving my girls for all of those hours, or working 9.5 hours, but 1 hour drive time. There is still absolutely no part of me that wants to be at work, and it's killing me. I've always loved working...it was a huge part of who I am, and I do still feel that way. But I just can't shake that feeling that I should be home with my girls. That guilt. Oh, I hate that guilt.

But, I feel back into the swing of things at least. It feels good connecting with my close co-workers again, and diving back into things. As I talked with said co-workers, we came upon the realization that somehow I was still buried under my inbox, including many new requests, yet everyone else appears to be rather caught up right now. I did not really care for that realization. Oh well, like I always say, busy makes the day go fast!

I was still overwhelmed by the thought of Amelia being one now. I mean, I have a one and a two year old, how is that remotely possible?!? To think, a year ago we were in the hospital, VERY few visitors, and plenty of time to relax and stare at our newest family member. I was still beaming with pride, not only over her wonderfulness, but with my own hard work and success. I swear, I can remember those first few days like they were yesterday...

I've definitely said it before, but today I made the decision to get myself back on track. Next Monday, diet and exercise are going to become my best friends. I spent some time today coming up with a daily schedule to see how I can fit everything in. I am going to get back into my menu planning, which helps a lot both financially and in staying on track. I am going to start walking the tunnels at work on my breaks, and doing that 60 Day Slimdown program I have. I have way too many reasons to do this, and be successful, to just keep avoiding it. So, here's hoping I can really stick to it and do what I need to do...finally!

Here is Amelia's One Year photo…she has graduated to the banister, just like her big sister!

7/26/11 – One Year

One Year.

It’s hard to believe, it’s been one year since Amelia Grace entered our lives. That day, filled with so many emotions, so much joy, happiness, anxiety, stress, excitement…and of course, pain! It was a truly amazing day, etched into my mind forever. At 6:12AM, our lives became that much more complete.

A year full of longing cries, sleepless nights, sloppy kisses and real hugs. A year full of amazing firsts….first smile, first laugh, first time rolling across the room, first time sitting up, first time crawling into trouble, first time standing on your own and first time walking across the house as if you’d been doing it forever. A year full of giggles, screams and cries. A year full of adventures you will never remember, but I will never forget.

Amelia Grace, such a beautiful, sweet, cuddly drama queen. One year ago, you were born. Now, at One, you are no longer walking, but running from one corner of the house to the other. You have no problem climbing the stairs, getting in and out of the bathtub, on and off the couch and everything else you can reach those tiny little knees atop. You are STILL wearing 6-9 month clothes (even though I’ve sworn for the last 2-3 months that you were growing out of them…) and Size 2 diapers (which you truly ARE growing out of, and WILL be moving up after our current box is used up). We have your one year check-up on Friday, so I’m not sure where you are at in height and weight yet, but I know you are still a peanut, that’s for sure! You still say mom and mama all day, every day, but your new favorite word seems to be “more”, particularly when eating, and you have let a “dada” slip out a time or two this month. You are still 100% breastfed…that’s right folks, I made it to ONE YEAR, working full time, through struggles and stressful times. I am so proud of myself! You are shy, and loving, and have an infectious smile that I cannot get enough of. You are One, and you are amazing. We love you more than words could ever describe!

Today, unfortunately, was business as usual. Because of the shutdown, I couldn’t take the day off like I had been hoping to. So, off to work we went. Thankfully, she was awake when I dropped her off this morning, so I was able to shower her with happy birthday kisses! The day, again, dragged on forever. I am still very annoyed to be at work, and hoping that feeling ends soon. Christian doesn’t think he’ll be working any more OT for a while, but we’ll see how long that actually lasts.

After work, I had to do some fiddling with our budget now that I’m back to work and can actually do so. I later met up with Christian and the girls for dinner. Finally, the girls had their birthday cupcakes, we sang to Amelia (over and over again), and then it was time for bed. After Amelia finished eating and fell asleep, I just held her staring at her in amazement for a while….probably exactly what I was doing one year ago!

What an emotional day, that’s for sure! Here are a couple snaps of the birthday girl!

7/25/11 – Back to the “Real World”

Well, it’s official. I am back to work. In many, MANY ways, things are as if we’d never let. The drama is still there. The work is twice as much. The mornings are early. The questions are non-stop. I pretty much just hung out in my cubicle, going through e-mails and trying to remember where I’d left everything, eventually just jumping right back into it.

There is honestly no part of me that is happy to be back to work, and I never in a million years thought I would say that. Both times I was out on maternity leave, I couldn’t wait to get back to work by the end. But, being home with a newborn is much different than being home with toddlers. I got to sleep in every day, hang out with my girls all day, go to playgrounds and sprinkler parks and other fun things, get chores around the house done on a daily basis, enjoy long nap times giving me lots of “me” time…it was great, on so many levels. To top it all off, with me on unemployment, we were better off financially than with me working, which makes it even more frustrating. But, alas, we can’t just hang out on unemployment, and the bills don’t pay themselves. It makes a very large part of me regret buying our “forever” home so young…hopefully that decision pays off down the road!

After work, I sped home as quickly as I could. Olivia ended up throwing a fit when Christian was trying to load them up to come home, so he left her at his mom's thinking she'd be crying for him before he left the driveway. Well, much to our surprise, she never did. She ended up spending the night over there, and I was kind of bummed about that. But, it did give me time to finish up Amelia’s One Year video. We pretty much just ate some dinner and hung out for the night. I do know, it’s never felt better to get home from work!

Here is Amelia's finished video, it makes me cry every time I watch it!

7/24/11 – More Partying!

Well, the girls clearly enjoyed themselves yesterday…they both slept until 9:30 this morning! Whoa! We ate some breakfast, and began getting ready for the day pretty much right away. I hurried off to Target to buy a gift because we were off to my BFF’s sons birthday party…he turns 7 tomorrow, and THAT is really hard to believe! So, off we went. They had the party at a place called “Grand Slam”…they have some different games and sporting activities for the kids to play. Olivia couldn’t do much, but we kept her entertained.

After some lunch, cake and presents, we headed home because the girls were very sleepy, and getting crabby. The girls fell asleep on the way home and took a pretty decent nap. While they did that, Christian loaded up the table, chairs and other various items we’d borrowed from his parents for the party, and returned them. I went through Amelia’s birthday presents, did a little cleaning up, and relaxed for a while. I was still pretty exhausted after the last few days, so it was nice to get some time off my feel. And, of course, it was time to prepare the working world again.

Christian grabbed some dinner on his way home, we ate and hung out for a while, and then it was time for bed. Hopefully the girls will sleep nice and sound tonight, because that 5:00AM wakeup call is going to be ROUGH tomorrow!

Here is a picture of the birthday boy today! And, the girls took turns stealing my Icee today, Olivia loved it, and Amelia apparently thought it was hilarious. LOL.

7/23/11 – Birthday Party Day!

It’s hard to believe, and it breaks my heart to say it, but today was Amelia’s birthday party! How can it be true, how can my teeny tiny baby be turning one?! I just don’t know!

Even though the party didn’t start until 3:00, and Olivia was at my mom’s, we were still running around like chickens with our heads cut off all morning. Seriously, we are never quite prepared enough for our parties, that’s for sure. With a lot of help from our moms, we got all of the tables set up outside, set up the pools, made the food, did our decorating, showered and got ready, just as the guests started arriving. Christian manned the grill all afternoon, and I tried to mingle, snap some pictures and keep the party moving along. We had the typical grillin’ kind of food, cupcakes, cake and ice cream. The pools were not as big of a hit as I’d expected, but they got a little use. The bounce house (our gift to Amelia, since they’re cheaper to buy than to rent, and now we’ll have it forever!) was a hit for a while. We did presents and a piñata. It was a very fun and emotional day. The guests slowly started leaving, and by 9:30 most everyone was gone. We gave the girls a quick bath and put them down to bed, then spent a little time with our friends Dan and Michelle. We chatted for a while and watched a movie…it was nice getting some grown up time and having a chance to catch up with some friends.

The day was long, chaotic and tons of fun. Most of all, exhausting! We had a few no-shows, which is always pretty disappointing, but we were surrounded by a lot of wonderful friends and family members, Amelia received some very cute, very great presents, and all in all, everything was a success. Celebrating the life of a child, there is nothing better!

Here are some pictures from the party. I didn’t get as many as I would’ve liked. Amelia was pretty shy and tired most of the day, so I didn’t want to push her into taking pictures and frustrate her. I got a few good ones though!

7/22/11 – Another Busy Day!

Another busy day, and another short post!

Christian was off work again, so we spent the day getting ready for the party tomorrow. We woke up at the usual time, ate some breakfast and hung out for a while. Then, Olivia and I were off to meet my mom. My mom offered to take her overnight tonight so we could finish everything up, and get ready for the party tomorrow, with a little more ease. So, we met up, my mom took her, and I headed back home. I finished up the laundry and did some general picking up, and then we met up with my mother in law for a quick lunch. Then, it was finally home to get to work!

Today’s tasks were cleaning/picking up the bathrooms and the basement and getting all of the decorations ready to go. But, no matter what we do, we’re never quite as prepared as we think, so I’m sure tomorrow will be as chaotic as any other party we have!

Christian got this cute picture of Amelia today. Such a happy girl!

7/21/11 – Busy Day

Well, I am supposed to be returning to work today…but, I’m not! I just couldn’t do it, not yet. I actually already had today and tomorrow requested off before the shutdown, but I don’t think I would’ve gone back today even if I hadn’t. Not.Ready.At.All.

After waking up and some breakfast, the girls and I hung out for a while and Christian took to yard duty. I got Amelia down for her nap and then dropped Olivia off with my mother-in-law for a few hours. Then, it was time to shop! I stopped into Hallmark to pick up Amelia’s “1” figurine, then to Party City to pick up the last of the decorations and order balloons, then finally to Target to pick up all of the groceries for the party and some necessities. By the time I got home, the yard work was done, and Amelia was up, so we ate some lunch, I did some laundry, Christian picked up Olivia and we did the little bit of cleaning that needed to be done upstairs (vacuuming, dishes…general stuff). Then, we called it a night. It didn’t seem like we did much, but we were pretty exhausted by the end of the day!

I snapped this picture of Amelia this morning…she was VERY clingy today, would barely let me put her down. She must know I’m leaving her again…I was happy to cuddle as much as she wanted!

7/20/11 – It’s Over

Well, after a long night last night, the Legislature passed all of the budget bills, and it looked like the shutdown would end today. The Governor signed all of the bills this morning, and with that, everything was over. I received my call back to work (to return tomorrow) around 11:00AM, and I joyfully exclaimed that I would NOT be returning until Monday. Thankfully, I had a planned “vacation” the rest of the week!

Today was HOT, HOT, HOT, the hottest day yet. The heat index reached 120 today, ouch. Luckily, it was quite windy out which I think made it not so miserable. The girls and I braved it, and I took them off to the sprinkler park to enjoy our “last” day together. The wind was really a lifesaver there, because there was a nice mist going on all around. Amelia again loved the water, but Olivia didn’t want much to do with it. So, she played on the playground for a while instead. Finally, they were worn out and hot enough, so we packed it up for the day. I stopped to get some lunch on the way, and Amelia fell asleep pretty much the second I got her in the truck. So, she took a short nap while we ate and I got Olivia down for her nap. That was basically our day. Amelia ended up taking another short nap later in the day, so I had a little alone time with each of them, which was nice.

Once Christian was home, we ate some dinner and hung out for a while. He took the next two days off work, so I’m looking forward to hanging out with him for a few days, and spending some time getting ready for the party this weekend. Here are some pics from the sprinkler park.

7/19/11 – Blah

I don’t really have much to report today. It’s so hot out, it’s really unbearable. The humidity today was off the charts. The girls and I pretty much just hung out inside today trying to escape the heat. So, it was a pretty boring, typical day. Wake up, breakfast, play, break up fights, eat lunch, nice long nap, snacks and wait for daddy. We had some pizza for dinner, Amelia’s favorite, and then Christian decided he wanted to do some of our outdoor chores. So, we attempted it. We emptied the bug infested sandbox, got rid of the sand, washed the box out and planted some grass seed where we had the box. Christian clipped back the tree…it gets pretty out of control! We all sweat through our clothes in record time, only saved by spending a little time in the sprinkler (which was supposed to be watering the new grass…).

Finally, it was time for baths (DEFINITELY time for baths) and bed. The Governor called a special session around 3:00PM today. By bedtime, they had passed 5 of the 12 bills, and were hoping to pass all of them through the night. So, we’ll see what the status is in the morning. It’s looking like this thing will all be coming to an end at some point tomorrow, and we’ll be called back to work this week yet. I have definitely mixed feelings about it, personally and as a citizen. The budgets they are agreeing to are not good for the state, and we’re going to end up right back in this same position in two years, and that is very frustrating. But, what can you do?!

Olivia was being a great helper while Christian was clipping the tree, and I wanted to snap a few pictures. Unfortunately, because of the humidity, I couldn’t keep the camera lens clean enough to even snap one! Gross. This was the result…