2/8/11 – Topic #3 – VBAC vs. RCS

Today was a nice and boring day. Just the typical work, home, dinner, eat, play, baths and bed. Nothing crazy, nothing stressful. Just the way I like it. Of course that means I really have nothing to talk about today! Making it topic day!

So, my topic title may not make a ton of sense to all of my readers. VBAC = Vaginal Birth After C-Section; RCS = Repeat C-Section.

Once you have a c-section, you are instantly met with some BIG decisions (if you plan on having more kids of course). Do you fall in line with the theory of “once a c-section, always a c-section”, or do you fight for that VBAC. And trust me, the VBAC is just that…a fight. It’s finding a midwife/OB that is TRULY VBAC friendly, finding a hospital that is TRULY VBAC friendly, and fighting yourself every step of the way…fighting the fear of the risks, fear of the unknown, comfort of what you’ve already been though. It’s a daunting task indeed.

I was never sure that I wanted to have kids growing up. I didn’t long for the day I would be a mother. Olivia was quite the [welcomed] surprise. Then my fear of giving birth set in, instantly. I had NO desire to do it, and was absolutely scared to death at the thought. Honestly, I told myself many times “I wish I could just have a c-section and skip the whole thing”. Throughout the pregnancy, I did my research, read everything I could, talked to moms, took my childbirth preparation class, and really came around to everything. I was ready, and even excited. At around 35 weeks, Olivia still had not turned into position, and my midwife was starting to worry. She said it was pretty late in the game, and there was a good chance she wouldn’t turn. She pointed me to a website that had exercises and tips on trying to get baby to turn (www.spinningbabies.com), and we scheduled a version at the hospital, to manually turn the baby. After I did some research on the version, I knew it wasn’t for me. It’s painful, dangerous to mom and baby, has a very low success rate, is done in the hospital in case it sends mom into labor, and even if it does work, there is a good chance baby will turn back into breech position. In the end, I decided it wasn’t worth the risk, and I truly felt that a breech baby is breech for a reason, and we just can’t know what that reason is. I also would never birth a breech baby naturally (not that my midwife or hospital would have allowed it), as that is incredibly dangerous for the baby – when you deliver your baby, baby will take their first breaths shortly after their chest is delivered….so, of you are delivering head last [the hardest part of the baby to deliver], your baby is more than likely going to take their first breath(s) before their head is delivered…very dangerous. Not knowing the true repercussions of a c-section, I just gave in and prepared for it.

The surgery itself went great. My recovery was picture perfect (not EASY, but went just as it should have). In the end, I ended up having a lot of emotional issues after Olivia’s birth. I felt empty, I felt like I was ripped off from an experience that I deserved…that I had earned. It just was not the right ending to the process of pregnancy. I didn’t give birth…I had a procedure. And it was not sitting well with me. I think everybody focuses on the physical side of a c-section, and you often forget that pregnancy, labor and delivery have a very emotional aspect as well. I knew at that moment, I never wanted to do that again. I immediately started researching VBAC’s…the good, the bad, the risks, the benefits, and started preparing myself. There was no question in my mind that a VBAC was in my future.

Here is the best research and comparisons I have compiled online throughout my VBAC journey (this is going to be LONG).

Both VBAC’s and RCS’ involve some increased risks to mothers. However, without a clear, compelling and well-supported need for c-section in the present pregnancy, planned vaginal birth is safer overall for you than a planned RCS. With supportive care, 75 or more out of 100 women who plan VBAC give birth vaginally. The others go on to have another c-section, primarily for reasons that are unrelated to the scar.

A planned c-section offers certain advantages over a c-section that takes place after labor is underway. A planned c-section is less likely to involve injury to other organs during surgery, to lead to infection after surgery and to take an emotional toll. Nonetheless, whether planned or unplanned, a c-section is a major surgery and involves pain, a post-operative recovery period and a greater risk for mothers in many areas.

Your plan for your family size plays a key role in deciding as well. Each additional c-section increases the amount of internal scarring and the number of uterine scars. The accumulating scar tissue makes it more and more difficult for the egg to make its proper way from the ovary into the uterus and for the placenta that nourishes the baby to grow and attach normally. These problems can pose life-threatening risks to babies and mothers. The scarring can also pose challenges for future surgical procedures, c-section or other. If a woman who has a VBAC has more children, she almost always gives birth vaginally and her uterine scar almost never gives way during future labors.

Scar-Related Situations and Their True Risks:

1. Type of Uterine Scar Not Known: Many years ago, studies showed that a horizontal cut on the lower part of the uterus produced a much stronger scar than the previously used vertical incision. As a result, virtually all women who had a previous cesarean and are pregnant now have a scar that goes from side to side. Exceptions may be a past c-section for placenta previa, an emergency situation, premature birth, or breech positioning.
2. Previous C-Section for Premature Birth: The lower portion of the uterus may not have developed enough at the time of the past c-section to permit a cut that goes from side to side. For this reason, doctors may make a vertical incision at the bottom of the uterus. However, the low vertical incision appears to be just as strong as a transverse incision.
3. Baby Expected to be Larger Than Average: Some have thought that babies expected to weigh more than 8 pounds, 13 ounces would put extra pressure on the scar. However, studies don't show this to be the case.
4. Pregnancy Goes Beyond the Due Date: Studies do not show an increase in problems with the scar in pregnancies going beyond 40 weeks.
5. Twin Pregnancy: Studies haven’t shown an increase in problems with the scar during labor with twins compared with one baby. However, limited information on VBAC labors with twins is available at this time.
6. Baby is in a Breech Position: Few care providers will agree to vaginal breech birth even when the mother has no c-section scar, so the question here is whether it is it safe to have a procedure in which the care provider uses hand maneuvers on the belly to try to turn the baby into a head-first position. As with twins, there is little research on this point.

Overall, less than 1 in 100 – that is 0.01% - women who labor after a c-section experience the scar giving way during labor, which generally leads to an emergency c-section. In VBAC labors, loss of the baby occurs much less frequently than scar separation and emergency c-sections. The following situations have been shown to increase risk for scar-related problems:
1. more than one prior c-section
2. uterine infection following the previous c-section
3. mother aged 30 or older
4. due date less than 18 months after the previous c-section

In some rare situations, it is thought that substantially more women, 8 to 12 out of 100, will have the scar give way. Almost all care providers, including those who usually encourage VBAC, would strongly recommend a planned RCS in the following situations:

1. Certain uterine scars from a c-section that aren’t the usual horizontal cut made at the bottom of the uterus: In these rare situations, the concern is that the scar on the uterus may be weaker and more likely to give way and cause serious problems than the usual c-section scar.
2. Mother had previous uterine surgery for gynecologic problems, such as for removal of fibroid tumors.
3. Uterine scar opened and caused problems in a prior labor: The key point here is that the scar has caused problems before.
4. Uterus does not have the usual pear shape: Examples of this are a heart-shaped uterus or a uterus that is partly divided down the middle.
5. Ultrasound in late pregnancy finds that the area of the scarred uterus is unusually thin: There may be a concern if the scar is 2.5 millimeters thick or less.

Induction of labor is highly discouraged when attempting a VBAC delivery (really, induction of labor is a large factor in the high c-section rates, so should be avoided in general as much as possible). Agents used to soften and shorten the cervix may increase the likelihood that the scar will open and lead to problems in labor (some studies find a relationship, and others do not). Some researchers think these agents may soften the uterine scar as well. Using synthetic oxytocin (Pitocin) by itself to try to start labor may also increase the likelihood that the scar will give way. In this case, at most 2 women in 100 experience this problem compared to the rate of less than 1 in 100 in women not being induced. Giving Pitocin early in labor to strengthen contractions may also increase the risk of scar problems.Given the increasingly casual use of labor induction in the United States, many women have the option of waiting for labor to begin on its own, or at least waiting to induce labor until changes in the cervix signal that it is ready to open. If your caregiver recommends induction to you, it is important to consider together the risks and benefits of waiting for labor to begin on its own, inducing labor or scheduling a RCS.

If you have given birth vaginally in the past, your chances of having scar problems with a VBAC labors appear to be reduced. Also, if you have already had a vaginal birth (in addition to your c-section), you are more likely to reach a goal of VBAC than a woman who has not had a vaginal birth.

For women who have labored before, fear of another difficult labor holds many women back from attempting a VBAC. If you can identify what elements of your labor distressed you, you may be able to avoid repeating the problem. Here are some ideas:

1. If you feel that you didn’t have good supportive care from your caregivers, you may wish to choose a different caregiver, birth setting or both.
2. If you feel that you didn’t get the support you needed from your partner or others who were with you, hire a doula or invite a friend or relative to assist you and your partner.
3. If the problem is the frustration of long, non-productive hours in labor or pushing, you can:

• know that your next labor may proceed very differently; the first is usually the longest.
• learn about factors that can interfere with labor progress (laying down consistently during labor, epidurals/medical interference, early induction, etc.) and gather ideas on how to help labor progress more smoothly. This is another reason to hire a doula as she will know these things.
• decide ahead of time on reasonable limits for the cervix to dilate fully and then for you to push the baby out. Knowing you have an end point can help you feel less anxious and more in control. If you reach this point, you can choose whether to go beyond it. Keep in mind when setting limits that women with prior c-sections tend to labor more like first-time mothers than women who have given birth vaginally.

Despite limitations of the best available research, the following conclusions seem clear:

1. Scar giving way: The scar is more likely to give way during a VBAC labor than in a RCS; for most women, the added risk of the scar giving way is about 27 in every 10,000 VBAC labors.
2. Death of baby: While the scar giving way poses a threat to the baby, the added risk that the baby will die from a problem with the scar during a VBAC labor, compared with women planning a RCS, is about 1.4 in every 10,000 VBAC labors.
3. Hysterectomy in mother: If the scar gives way, some women have a hysterectomy. The added risk of needing a hysterectomy from this cause is about 3.4 in every 10,000 VBAC labors, when compared with women planning a RCS. However, considering risk for hysterectomy from all causes, women who plan a VBAC are not more likely to experience an unplanned hysterectomy than women planning a RCS.
4. Infection: Women planning RCS’ are more likely to develop infections than women planning VBACs.
5. Multiple scars in uterus: Accumulating c-section scars increase risk for experiencing a number of serious problems relating to future pregnancies and births. These include:
   o scar rupture in a subsequent labor
   o ectopic pregnancy: the embryo develops outside the uterus
   o placenta previa: the placenta grows over the cervix, the opening to the uterus
   o placental abruption: the placenta separates from the uterus before the baby is born
   o placenta accreta the placenta growing abnormally into or even through the uterus.

When weighing planned VBAC versus planned c-section, the focus is often on potential problems with the uterine scar in labor or on problems associated with accumulating scars. But this results in an incomplete picture because it overlooks other risks that also differ between vaginal birth and c-section. Summarized here are some of the many extra risks associated with c-section surgery, as well as the few advantages.Most of what we know about these risks comes from studies of c-section’s in general, not planned c-section’s. Available research suggests that some of these risks may be lessened when the c-section is planned.As you consider these, keep in mind that on average, 3 out of 4 women who labor after a c-section will give birth vaginally with care that encourages and supports VBAC.

1. Physical problems for mothers: Compared with vaginal birth, c-section increases a woman’s risk for a number of physical problems. These range from less common but potentially life-threatening problems, including hemorrhage (severe bleeding), blood clots and bowel obstruction, to much more common problems such as longer-lasting and more severe pain and infection. Even after recovery from surgery, scarring and adhesion tissue increase risk for ongoing pelvic pain and for twisted bowel.
2. Hospital stays: If a woman has a c-section, she is more likely to stay in the hospital longer and to be re-hospitalized.
3. Emotional well-being: A woman who has a c-section may be at greater risk for poorer overall mental health and some emotional problems. She is also more likely to rate her birth experience poorer than a woman who has had a vaginal birth.
4. Mother-baby relationship: A woman who has a c-section is more likely to have less early contact with her baby and initial negative feelings about her baby.
5. Breastfeeding: Recovery from surgery poses challenges for getting breastfeeding under way, and a baby who was born by c-section is less likely to be breastfed and get the benefits of breastfeeding.
6. Impact on babies: Babies born by c-section are more likely to:
   o be cut during the surgery (usually minor)
   o have breathing difficulties around the time of birth
   o experience asthma in childhood and in adulthood.
7. Impact on any future babies: A c-section increases risks for babies in future pregnancies. Some research finds that babies who develop in a scarred uterus are more likely to:
   o be born too early (preterm)
   o weigh less than they should (low birth weight)
   o have a physical abnormality or injury to their brain or spinal cord
   o die before or shortly after the birth

This is a great site that I found, which compares VBAC’s to RCS’ very in-depth http://www.childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ClickedLink=293&ck=10212&area=27. I feel like when a mother is truly informed, has a good support system and really looks at the facts, it is clear that the risks of a RCS are far greater than the risks of a VBAC, both physically and emotionally.

I have become quite the advocate of VBAC’s, and wish with all my might that more women would seek this important option. We need more women to do it, spread the word and pave the way so that it becomes the norm rather than the "once a c-section always a c-section" notion that is still so prominent. More than that, I wish more women would go into their initial labors and/or c-sections with more knowledge about what they are getting into.

Here are a couple pictures of my ladies to end today’s novel.

2/7/11 – Adventures in Baby Food – Prunes

Oh Monday. Yes, it’s Monday again. And, again, I had a long night with Amelia. **One day this will all be a distant memory*** - that’s my daily reminder to myself!

Today was a pretty good day though. I was able to get quite a bit accomplished at work. I ended up leaving a couple hours early so I could get some shopping done. I stopped home so I could pump and collect some coupons and make my shopping list...then I was on my way. I picked up all of our groceries and necessities for the week. We are starting the cats on a healthier diet…so I picked up some better dry food, and we’re going to try to incorporate some wet food into their diet too. We can’t bear the thought of anything happening to the rest of our animals, so it’s time to be more proactive about their health!

I quickly ran home and started making a few batches of baby food. Amelia has been eating twice a day, lunch and dinner. But, we’ve been giving her the same food both times. I made batches of the food she’s already had…Sweet Potatoes and Butternut Squash, so she can get those for dinner. I was able to get some dishes done, clean up the kitchen and start our dinner while I made the food. It was a very productive evening. Today is my mother in-law’s birthday, so Christian and the girls hung out with her for a little while, giving me a little extra time to get things done.

I also tackled a new food tonight…PRUNES. Yes, it’s time to give in to the power of prunes! Poor Amelia is still having a tough time going to the bathroom, so we’re hoping the prunes help in the process. Plums/Prunes are high in fiber, low in cholesterol, sodium free and rich in Vitamin A & Vitamin C. As Plums/Prunes are high in fiber and natural sugars, they help maintain bowel regularity. Plums/Prunes are great to help with constipation. Prunes, also known to help maintain bowel regularity and alleviate constipation, are really just Plums that have been "dried". These fruits are recommended to be introduced to baby anytime from 6 months of age.

I chose to use Prunes for my batch, and used a canister of dried prunes. I’m not going to lie…this was a little tougher to make than the other foods. But, I got it done, following this 3-step process!

1. Soak dried prunes in warm water until they plump up or steam gently. I had to switch out the water once (again, with warm water) to get them pump enough. May try steaming next time.
2. Once plump and tender, toss into food processor or blender and begin to puree. Although the canister said “pitted prunes”, I did find one pit in the batch – so listen carefully when pureeing.
3. Add liquid without sparing any – you will need A LOT of water. Prunes tend to become a pasty gluey consistency when pureed and the more water you add, the easier it is to puree to a texture your baby will tolerate.

It took a little longer than other foods, and a lot more trial and error, but the prunes tasted great, and not AS sour as the jarred stuff. We’ll be giving her 2-3 spoons of prunes a day to help with her regularity.

Cost Savings:
- 1 Container of Dried Prunes = $3.49 – Makes Roughly 20 Jars
- 20 Jars of Gerber Stage 2 Prunes = $11.20
- Cost Savings of $7.71

Keep in mind, the prune puree will not freeze into a solid block – and that is OK. The skins should not pose an issue however do be certain to keep a watch for baby's adverse reaction to the possible texture. After freezing my batch, I realized that it is nearly impossible to get the “frozen” prunes out of the ice cube trays. I will just be freezing the lock tight Tupperware of prunes…since they don’t freeze solid, you can take it out by the spoonful, even “frozen”, so that works well.

Here are some before and after pictures of the prunes. And, a cute bath time photo of Amelia.

2/6/11 – Adventures in Baby Food – Peas

Today was Superbowl Sunday! A much different Superbowl Sunday than we’re used to, that’s for sure! For the past 5 years or so we have hosted a Superbowl party at our house, with all of our friends. We have a Taco Bar, Chips and Salsa, lots of laughs and catching up. This year, we decided to take a break from the party. Life has been too chaotic for us the past few months, and I just couldn’t bear the thought of planning another event right now. And, with Amelia requiring so much attention still, I just didn’t think I’d be able to focus on everything. So, instead, we spent a fairly quiet day and night at home, and we actually watched the game and relaxed. Sad to say, the Packers won…that was not a good way to end the day.

We were all up fairly early. Amelia did not sleep AT ALL last night. I put her down around 10:30, and she was up twice between then and 12:00. So, I finally just kept her in bed with me. She was still up on and off all night long, which resulted in very little sleep on my part. So, I was feeling pretty rough this morning. Christian’s friend spent the night after the fight last night, so Christian took Olivia with him to bring his friend home. I attempted to get Amelia down for a nap while they were gone…that didn’t happen. We ate lunch and just hung out for a little while. Olivia went down for her nap, and I again attempted to put Amelia down. Failed…again. This time I decided to just stay in bed and nap with her…it was the only way to get her down, and I needed a nap anyway! She, or rather her digestive track, is having a really hard time adjusting to foods, so she has been having a pretty hard time going to the bathroom. It’s causing a lot of her problems right now. Poor thing.

Finally, Christian roasted a chicken and some potatoes for dinner, we all ate, watched the big game, did a little cleaning and just hung out. It was finally time for bed and baths, and I’m praying for a good night of sleep tonight!

Before bed, I did manage to make my 3rd batch of baby food…this time was Peas! I’ve always heard making peas was a total pain. That the skin was impossible to puree. I don’t know it it’s the Baby Bullet, or what, but I didn’t have any trouble at all. The nutritional value of peas is amazing when you think of the small size of a cup of peas. One cup of peas contains more protein that a tablespoon of peanut butter and also provides calcium, Vitamin A and C and Iron too. These wonderful vegetables are a great first “green” food for baby as they are nutritious, and mostly pleasant to eat. Peas are typically recommended for introduction into a baby's diet between 6-8 months old. You can use fresh peas (from a peapod), but frozen peas will really do the trick.

I chose to use frozen peas, and followed this simple 3-step process:

1. Cook the peas in the microwave; according to the directions on the package (you can also do stovetop if you wish).
2. Plunge the hot peas into a bowl of ice cold water – this is said to help with puréeing.
3. Place the peas into an appliance of your choice for puréeing, and use the water from the steaming process to aid in the puréeing process – however, you may need to add more water throughout the process to achieve the correct consistency. I used ¾-1 cup of water total for a bag of frozen peas.

Simple as that! And, the peas tasted great, MUCH better than I remember the jarred peas tasting.

Cost Savings:
- 1 Bag of Frozen Peas = $.90 – Makes Roughly 10 Jars
- 10 Jars of Gerber Stage 2 Peas = $5.95
- Cost Savings of $5.05

Here are some before and after pictures of the peas. And, a picture of Olivia and Daddy, lounging around.

2/5/11 – Picture Day

Today was a pretty good day. We were all up fairly early. Ate some breakfast and spent a little time together. Christian and I were in the kitchen preparing breakfast…I looked out into the living room to find Olivia, sitting down next to Amelia, playing with her “art easel”. Together…playing…together. I couldn’t believe my eyes! SUCH a welcomed change, and it truly warmed our hearts to see.

Today was a big day, we were meeting up with Kristi, from Images by Kris, to get the girls’ 6 month and 2 year pictures done. We were very excited, but it’s a little nerve-wracking because you just don’t know how it’s going to go…is Amelia going to cry and freak out the whole time? Is Olivia actually going to cooperate? Will we be able to get either of them to smile or pay attention?

Well, luckily Kristi is amazing with kids. Amelia was all about it. She laughed and smiled and was perfect as can be. Olivia was definitely having a lot of ADD throughout her parts of the session. We kept having to bribe her with treats and promises of playing outside to get her to cooperate. In the end, I’m sure we’ll get plenty of GREAT pictures to choose from, and I can’t wait to see them.

After pictures, we headed home. Olivia decided the short nap she took on the way to our session was enough for the day, so she really didn’t take a nap. Amelia crashed on the way home, and took a nice long nap, thank goodness! Christian helped me get the girls fed, and then was off. He and a friend from work went to watch the UFC fights, so it was just me and the girls. Olivia was entertaining and played with Amelia most of the evening, which was nice. Then, she passed right out when I put her to bed…no fight or anything! Even more nice! Amelia, on the other hand, does not want to go to sleep. Looks like I’m in for a long night with her!

Here are some pictures of the girls, cute and loving each other all day long (including Olivia's newest thing...rocking Amelia back and forth...this could definitely end badly)!

2/4/11 – Discussion Topic #2 – Sleeping Arrangements

Friday. Sweet Friday. There is nothing better than when Friday rolls around…especially after a long, exhausting week like this one! Amelia has not been sleeping well…and I mean, worse than usual. She’s having a rough time transitioning from strictly breast milk, to the addition of foods. She LOVES her food, but now what’s it’s doing to her system! Poor thing. From what I can tell, this is pretty normal, so I hope it doesn’t take too long for her to adjust!

Christian had one last check up for his ear before his surgery. After his last appointment, they prescribed some kind of “tape” for him to wear all day, every day, that is supposed to help soften the tissue and prepare it for surgery. They checked on that and said everything is looking good. I asked him if he’s nervous…he said “no”, but was very hesitant, so he obviously is. It’s just an out-patient, completely non-invasive surgery, but I think anything like that makes you a little nervous. We’re just really praying that this FINALLY does the trick! We really didn’t do too much the rest of the night. I did the dishes, we ate some dinner, watched a little TV and just let the girls play. Like usual, I don’t think it’s going to be a very late night for us.

Sleeping Arrangements
So, when it comes to little ones, the sleeping arrangements are limitless. Bassinet, pack and play, right to the crib, in mom and dad’s room, in their own room, sleeping with mom and dad, and any combination of these options. Sleeping arrangements are also a pretty controversial topic. When it comes to co-sleeping, the danger and risks, along with the formation of bad habits, bring a lot of negative attention to the topic.

When we had Olivia, we took a stance that co-sleeping was NOT for us. It didn’t seem safe, our pediatrician was very against it, we did not want to encourage any hard to break habits later on, and, quite frankly, we did not want to give up “our bed”. Olivia slept in her bassinet, in our room once we got home from the hospital. In the VERY beginning, she wasn’t the best sleeper. She had to be passed out asleep before you put her down, otherwise she would wake up and would not go back to sleep easily. She started sleeping through the night (and I mean, 9-10 hours stretches) when she was 5-6 weeks old. By about 9-10 weeks old, we could lay her down, slightly awake, and she would fall asleep on her own. She quickly started outgrowing her bassinet, and we decided we wanted our room back (and we were finally starting to get over our fear of her sleeping), so when she turned 3 months old, we moved her into her crib, in her own room. It was a rough few nights…knowing she wasn’t right next to us, we couldn’t hear her every breath. We resisted the urges to check on her non-stop, and pretty quickly adjusted the new arrangements. I think she slept better without our noise, and we felt a little bit more at ease.

From that point on, Olivia went through stages. She’d usually sleep straight through the night, but for a few days in a row, every once in a while, she’d wake up needing a bottle. It was all survivable though (a little less as my pregnancy with Amelia moved along). This worked for us. And with that, we took our stance that co-sleeping was not for us.

Then…Amelia came along. And, we quickly realized that it wasn’t so much that co-sleeping wasn’t for US, but that it wasn’t for Olivia. Olivia didn’t need that. Olivia was a wonderful independent sleeper, she never needed that. Amelia, is NOT.

We started out the same as with Olivia, Amelia slept in the bassinet, in our room. We quickly became more lenient on her sleeping in our bed as the long, sleepless nights started piling up. She didn’t like being on her own. With time, I learned the wonderful art of side-lying nursing, so I could sleep while she nursed…she would then fall asleep, and there was no sense in getting up at that point. So, we adapted. It was working for her, which meant it worked for us. She is now 6+ months old…we just moved her from the bassinet to the pack and play (because it’s a little bigger), she still does not put herself to sleep and is still in our room. She we put her to bed in the pack and play, but if she wakes up during the night, I just bring her in bed with me.

So, we have experienced a wide range of the sleeping arrangement spectrum. And, in the end, I just don’t think there is a right or wrong. Every child is different, your relationship with every child will be different, and they all have their own needs. Olivia needed her independence, Amelia needs her comfort. So, while we were very hard-core non-co-sleepers, that has definitely changed!

I know we will be faced with quite a challenge in the next few months. We do crave OUR independence, and would love to have our room back to ourselves, but these are the sacrifices we make. Amelia has a wonderful, clean, welcoming crib awaiting her, but when she will use it, is truly an unknown. Not only are we faced with the transition from the pack and play and our room, to the crib in her room…but we are faced with putting the girls in the same room. That, I’m more afraid of. Right now, we don’t even have the energy to imagine how that transition is going to go.

Here’s Amelia, giving a little wave to the camera!

2/3/11 – Adventures in Baby Food – Butternut Squash

Today was a pretty typical Thursday. I felt a little bit more like myself today at work. I do OK, unless I’m not doing anything. So, when I pumping at work, I’m left to my own thoughts…which lead to Frank…and I tear up and cry a little. Outside of that, I’m usually distracted with work and everything. Chloe seems to be more herself now. She obviously knew something was going on, and realized Frank was gone, but she’s kind of your typical, fat, lazy, loner cat, so I think she’s OK with the change. Rico on the other hand, is having a hard time. He sits around, looking downstairs, like he’s waiting for Frank to appear. He’s been coming around us, even when the dog and/or the kids are around. He’s let Olivia and Amelia pet him and hug him. He’s taking it pretty hard…Frank was his little playmate. I feel so bad.

After work, I did a little cleaning and whipped up my 2nd batch of baby food…Butternut Squash! Butternut (and Acorn) squash are wonderful additions to baby's first foods. High in Vitamins and Calcium – smooth, delicious and very nutritious, these winter squashes are sure to be a hit with your little one. Squash may be offered as early as 4-6 months old.

The best way to cook winter squash for baby food recipes is to bake or roast the squash. You retain the most nutrients while bringing out the most flavor. Roasting or baking winter squash is also easier than tying to peel and cube for steaming or boiling. I chose to bake my squash, and followed this simple 5-step process.

1. Place the squash in the microwave for 2 minutes to soften it for cutting.
2. Cut the squash in half, lengthwise, and scoop out the seeds.
3. Place the squash halves, face down, in a baking dish and cover with about an inch of water.
4. Bake in a 400 degree preheated oven for 40-60 minutes – be sure the “shell/skin” puckers and halves feel soft then scoop squash “meat” out of the shell.
5. Place squash “meat” into your choice of appliance for puréeing. Add water as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin consistency. Note, I used about ¾ cup for this batch.

Simple as that! The squash was very creamy and tasty.

Cost Savings:
- 1 Large Butternut Squash = $3.38 – Made Roughly 12 Jars
- 12 Jars of Gerber Stage 2 Squash = $7.14
- Savings of $3.76

Here are some before and after pictures from the squash. And, a picture of Amelia, enjoying her sweet potatoes!

2/2/11 – Learning to Cope

It’s Wednesday. We’re still having a hard time coping, but it seems like every day gets a TINY bit easier. I’m more grateful than ever to be super swamped at work…it definitely keeps my mind off of everything.

We really didn’t do too much tonight. We all just kind of found leftovers in the fridge to eat for diner, and just took it easy. It’s still sad, and hard to be at home. We keep expecting to see Frank jump up over the stairs or pop out from under the bed. I expect him to jump off the couch when I go downstairs and follow me around the basement. There was a story on the local news tonight about some animal rescues at an apartment fire the other night…they showed one of the cats, and it looked JUST like Frank. I feel like I’m reminded of him everywhere right now. I knew losing a pet was going to be hard, but I just never knew how it would affect me…I never expected it to be THIS hard.

After work we really just hung out. Thankfully the girls have no idea what’s going on, so they just laugh and play and provide us just the distraction that we need. Amelia is loving her Sweet Potatoes, but is still very uneasy about the Avocado. She’ll be moving on to a new food in a couple of days, so we’ll see how that goes!

Today, Olivia decided one of her baby’s could hitch a ride with Amelia. Safety first, right?!

2/1/11 – Adventures in Baby Food – Sweet Potatoes

So, my plan was to post about by journey through making my own baby food, in hopes of inspiring others to do so, by showing just how easy it is. As I mentioned yesterday, I made my first batch, sweet potatoes. Well, as you read, a very unexpected event took place, that deserved my attention on yesterday’s post. Today was a very rough day. We both overslept a little….between being up late, crying and unable to fall asleep, and Amelia waking up, I didn’t get much sleep at all. But, we got up, and I stumbled into work. I couldn’t bring myself to actually tell anybody about Frank, even without saying anything; I broke into tears several times throughout the day. My mom did mention it to a couple of my closest co-workers, otherwise nobody really knows.

We got through the day though. I’ve decided to take it easy this week as far as exercise goes. My body is really hurting right now, and I’m mentally not focused at this time. I just know myself, and I know that if I push myself to doing it, when I’m really not in the place to do it, I’m going to resent it and quit completely. So, a little break is in order. After work, I did meet up with my BFF for dinner, and that was much needed.

Now, for the sweet potatoes. The process was SUPER easy. I was very intimated at the thought if making my own food with Olivia, so I’m excited to see just how easy it really is. Sweet Potatoes are a highly recommended first food for babies, ready for introduction between 4-6 months (we don’t start anything until 6 months though). They are high in Vitamin A and beta carotene as well as potassium. They also contain a good amount of Vitamin E, calcium and folate. These wonderful vegetables are a great first food as they are packed full of nutrients, highly palatable and due to their fiber content, help digestive tract and bowel health. In the United States, Yams and Sweet Potatoes are one and the same and the terms are used interchangeably for the same vegetable. The difference between Yams and Sweet Potatoes in the United States is only in the labeling, the color, the texture and the marketing.

Baking sweet potatoes is the very best way to cook them. Baking sweet potatoes, especially for baby food, brings out their natural sweetness and good flavor while retaining the most nutrients. This is the simple, 4 step process I followed:

1. Preheat Oven to 400-410 degrees. Wash the potato, poke holes in potato with a fork, run the potato under water again then wrap the potato in foil – do not peel for baking/microwaving. The water trapped in with the foil will help bring the flavor out in the potato.
2. Place the foil wrapped potato in a baking dish, and into the preheated oven for 45-60 minutes, or until soft. The skin will turn brown and start to pucker when the potato is done.
3. Remove skins by slitting the sweet potato lengthwise when cooled then scoop out the “meat”.
4. Place potatoes into an appliance of your choice for puréeing. Use a liquid from your preferred source to puree or thin the potato – typically water. I used ¾-1 cup of water for 2 potatoes to make it liquidy enough for this stage.

Simple as that; and the potatoes were delicious!

Cost Savings:
- 2 Large Sweet Potatoes = $2.00 – Made Roughly 15 Jars
- 15 Jars of Gerber Stage 2 Sweet Potatoes Baby Food = $10.12
- Savings of $8.12

Here are some before and after pictures of the sweet potatoes.

1/31/11 - Goodbye, Sweet Frank

Today did not end anywhere near where I thought it would.

The day started off great. Work was super busy and crazy, I spent the day playing catch-up from being off on Friday. The snow arrived in full force, but my drive to work, or home, was not nearly as bad as I expected. I arrived home in an odd mood. I just felt off, like something was wrong, but just couldn't put my finger on it. I threw in a load of laundry, and went about my business...

Christian dropped the girls off and made a trip to the store with his mom. Olivia was running around like mad woman, Amelia was sitting in her chair in the kitchen with me, I did the dishes and cleaned up the disaster that was the kitchen. I started cooking dinner, and baking some sweet potatoes for my first shot at baby food. Christian arrived home just as dinner was ready, so he and Olivia started eating, while I pureed Amelia's potatoes and successfully completed my first batch of baby food (and, it was delicious!). I made my plate and joined the others for dinner.

We spent a little time playing, but it was already getting pretty late, so Christian started getting baths ready, while I got the girls undressed. I finally remembered that I was doing laundry, and ran downstairs quickly to switch loads. I turned on the basement light and saw Frank laying right inside the door. As I usually do, I yelled out "Hey Frank" as I walked by, only to be met with no response. This was definitely NOT normal, I always get a reaction out of my animals. I got closer, and realized Frank was not moving, and was not responsive at all, and I immediately thought the worst.

I yelled up to Christian, exclaiming that something was wrong with Frank. He ran down and picked Frank up. At this point, Frank did move slightly and let out the most painful meow I've ever heard. I started crying, and we just knew something was very wrong. We searched the basement to see if there were any signs of him being sick, and found nothing. We placed him on top of the washing machine, and he was just limp...he would not move, stand, sit. Nothing. Christian could feel something bulging from his stomache, and just looked at me with a blank stare and said, "This does not look good".

We left Frank in the laundry room, Christian put the girls in their baths, and I googled emergency animal clinics in our area. I came upon one, that didn't have the best reviews, but it was the only one close by. We were at a loss, and really didn't know what to do at this point. So, of coures we did what most people would do...I called mom. She offered to come down and sit with the girls while we took Frank in, because I could not face that, or the decisions that may come of it, by myself. So, Christian put Olivia to bed, took the dog out and did his usual nightly chores, while I fed Amelia and put her down.

My mom arrived just as I got Amelia to sleep, Christian pickedup Frank, wrapped him in a blanket, and we were on our way. As we took off in the car, the No Doubt sing, "Don't Speak" came on. I felt like it was an omen, and in that moment, I knew things were not going to go well. As we walked in the door, the receptionist literally jumped up, and ran over to us. She quickly took our information, ran over some basics and ran Frank into the back room. She came out and said the doctors wanted to take blood and do a bunch of tests, and it was all very overwhelming. We said we really needed to talk to the doctor.

We sat in the cold, dark exam room waiting for the doctor, and I just felt lost. The doctor came in, and very matter of factly stated that Frank was dying. He has a massive urinary infection, technically speaking, he had Feline Idiopathic Cystitis, and his bladder was litterally going to explode at any time. She said the only thing they could do was place a cathedar, and monitor him for a few days...we were looking at $1,500 minimum, and no guarantee that it would work. Looking at her face, through my tear filled eyes, I could tell she did not have much hope for him. She looked at us and said, "I know this is hard, but you really only have about a minute to decide what you want to do, or Frank is going to make that decision for you".

I broke down beyond belief at this point, and we knew what we had to do. He was suffering enough, and we needed to let him go. She brought him in so we could say our final goodbye's. He was wrapped in heating pads because his body temp was already so low, that it wasn't registering. His heartrate was barely audible at this point, and he was leaving us. We spent a few minutes with him, and I held him as they put him to sleep.

Leaving him there, in the cold, dark room, was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. The thought that we will never see him, never hold him, never hear that whiny little meow of his, or watch him battle Chuy again, is beyond devestating to me. I would not with this process, this experience, on my worst enemy. I found Frank in the basement around 8:20, and we were home from putting him down by 10:30. That was the longest, most torturous 2 hours I have ever experienced.

Frank came to us as a tiny, runt of his litter, bull legged little kitten, with a pipe cleaner tail and the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen in my life. We had 3 wonderful years with him, but his life was cut far too short, and my heart is truly broken.

Frank, simply stated, I love you, and I will always miss you.

1/30/11 – Not Enough Hours

It was a pretty busy Sunday for us. We’re not quite used to that! We started off bright and early…I started some laundry, and we got ready for my BFF’s sons baptism. It’s amazing how long it can take to get up, ready and out the door when you have two little ones in the mix. But, we made it one time, and that’s all that matters! Christian and I had never been to her church before (and, being that it takes about 40 minutes to get there, most likely won’t be back), and we really enjoyed it. It was very laid back and the pastors were great at getting their sermon’s across, with a little humor and real life mixed in. It’s the kind of church we could see ourselves in. Apparently they are going to be building a new chapter a little closer to us, so maybe when that’s done. We’ll see.

After the service, we joined her and her family at McDonald’s to hang out and let the kids run wild in the playland. Olivia was NOT happy when it was time to go, but she passed out within about 5 minutes of driving. Amelia survived the event pretty well. She slept the whole way there, and the whole way home. We had them in childcare during the service, and the ladies said she was fussy and cried here and there, but nothing too bad. That didn’t surprise me.

Amelia enjoyed her Avocado’s much more today. She ate quite a bit more than yesterday. Olivia decided her 30 minute nap on the way home was enough for the day and refused to go down when we got home. So, I quickly wrote out our shopping list for the week, and Olivia and I headed off to Target. Christian made us some dinner when we got home, while I put the groceries away and continued on with laundry.

Finally, it was time for bed and baths. It was a long, busy day, and I can’t believe the weekend is over already! The laundry is not quite done, the dishes are piling up, toys are scattered everywhere, and the kitchen needs a good cleaning…now, when will that all get done?!? To top it off, the snow has returned, and is supposed to continue for the next couple of days. Just what we needed…MORE snow and another run of horrible commutes. Ick.

Amelia new favorite toy is the bottle of Tylenol (which was Olivia’s favorite for a while as well!). The two have been fighting over it for days now…