2015 - Week 16

Here we are, kicking off another week! Monday was pretty standard. Everybody was off to work/daycare/school, as appropriate. The big event of the day was…after work, I stopped at the post office to mail my breast pumps back to Medela for recycling. It was kind of surreal. To actually, really, truly be done nursing/pumping. Forever. It’s been such a big part of my life for a while now. It closed a door on quite a rollercoaster. Between the three girls, I’ve had three VERY different nursing experiences.

Olivia, baby number one, was a complete challenge, from day one. It started with the fact that I had a c-section with her, and healing from that too way too much of my attention and focus. It took that attention and focus away from developing a breastfeeding relationship with Olivia. In addition to that, she was NOT a natural at it, whatsoever, and I was brand new to it, so we really struggled to figure it all out. By the time the lactation consultant at the hospital had time to stop by and help, it had already been a couple days, and they’d already had me start pumping so we could drop feed her while we worked on it. Our issues continued…we were both miserable, I was in so much pain, and it was not working…at all. We continued trying to drop feed her, I tried nipple shields, we visited more lactation consultants, I rented a hospital grade pump. I pumped to try to increase my supply. Nothing worked. We’d both be up in the middle of the night, bawling our eyes out. Finally, after a couple of weeks, I had to throw in the towel. We started her on formula, and I pumped as much as I could to supplement with breastmilk. Since I never really established a supply, the supply that I did have just dropped, day by day. By the time she was 4 months old, I was no longer getting enough for a full bottle, with 4-5 pumps a day, and I had to call it quits. It was such an emotional feeling. Between the c-section guilt I was already feeling, the “failure” at breastfeeding just made things that much worse. But, as soon as I saw how happy and content she was, how healthy and fulfilled she was…those feelings went away. She was eating, she was healthy, she was happy and that’s all that mattered. Yes, formula is a much, MUCH more expensive option, but it was worth it.

Amelia, baby number two, WAS a natural. She was amazing. I also knew better, and asked to see a lactation immediately after birth while I was in labor. Because she was a VBAC baby, I was able to nurse her immediately after she was born, and she did pretty well. Not too long after we got into our recovery room, the lactation consultant came in to meet with us. Amelia was doing really well, but she was slightly jaundice, and going on the biliblanket, so she was pretty tired, making her a little bit of a lazy nurser. So, the lactation consultant taught me how to nurse her laying down. Let me tell you…that position was a complete LIFESAVER for months and months to come. Once home, our success kept going. I ended up co-sleeping with her, so it was really easy to nurse her during the night, without even getting up (which was also nice, because she didn’t even come close to sleeping through the night until she was about 9 months old!). I nursed at home, pumped at work, and she never had a drop of formula. When I reached that one year mark, and she had been exclusively breastfed…even with me working full time, it was one of the proudest moments of my life. That is seriously hard work.

Finally, Eliza, baby number three. She ended up being a combination of the other two. After she was born, she too was pretty much a natural. Also a VBAC baby, she was able to nurse right away, with no trouble. I didn’t request a visit with a lactation consultant this visit, but she did stop by to check in, and was happy with how things were going. Once home, things progressed well, but she seemed to have a pretty insatiable appetite. She ate, non-stop, all day and all night long. I was so exhausted, I felt like I never got a break, and she just never seemed happy or satisfied. I kept pushing through, but as my return to work started approaching, things weren’t getting better. And for daycare, they are not able to make bottles there, so you have to make sure you send enough prepared bottles for the entire day. I just knew I wasn’t going to pump enough to ensure she had enough. So, as I returned to work, we started supplementing her diet with one bottle of formula a day…which we immediately found out was definitely needed. And, that’s how we continued for the next several months…I’d nurse when home, pump at work, and she generally got one bottle of formula a day. For some reason, my supply slowly started dipping when she was about 10 months, and it started to become a real struggle to pump her three bottles a day. I’d have to pump on the weekends and whenever possible to make up the difference. And, that brings us to today. She’s just over 11 months, and I’m officially done. She’ll finish off the next month on just formula, than transition to milk.

While the end of a breastfeeding relationship brings a lot of freedom…less concern over diet and exercise, no more carrying around that heavy black bag, no more washing pump parts and packing them up, no more stress and anxiety over how much I’m pumping, how much I’m producing and making sure she gets enough; it also brings up some sadness. It’s such a special, unique bond, and it’s hard to give that up. Oh babies, they bring on nothing but a rollercoaster of emotions!!

There's my pumps, ready to mail!

Tuesday was a pretty standard day. We’ve officially determined that Eliza has two consistent words, “Mama” and “Up”. And, she uses them much to her advantage. She’s so funny – it’s so fitting for our little diva! And, that makes 3 for 3 having their first word be “mama”, which makes me SUPER happy! You always hear that “dada” is the more common first word, and I for one am happy to debunk that rumor! I stopped at Walmart after work to pick up some groceries, picked the girls up from daycare, and we made our way home for a pretty quiet evening. My big task for the day was mailing off Eliza’s birthday party invitations! I can’t believe it’s just a few weeks away! Of course since it’s her first birthday, we invited more people than we typically would…but, I know that, like usual, we’ll end up getting a ton of “no” RSVP’s, which, as usual, will break my heart, but what can you do?! I have to admit, part of me will be really happy when we’re over the birthday party stage with the kids…or at least when we get to the part where we just invite a couple friends from school for a sleepover or something.

I let Olivia wear her hair down today. She looks like such a big girl!!

Wednesday was a bit of a rough day. I ended up dropping the girls off at daycare and heading right back home. I was feeling SO sick, my stomach was just killing me. I don’t know if I had some kind of bug or some food related reaction, but it was BAD! I didn’t eat anything all day, I barely left the couch. I actually slept most of the day. Seriously…bad. I did pick the girls up, but that was about it for the day. Christian picked dinner up for them on his way home, gave them baths and got them to bed a little early. I was feeling a TAD better by bedtime, and really hoping it was just a 24-hour thing. Ugh! One bright spot in the day was that Eliza’s sheet from daycare had a note on it that she had been yelling “up” to the teachers all day long. Seriously – DIVA! I just love that girl, she cracks me up. I can just picture her, following them around the room all day, “up”, “up”, “up”! So funny.

Thursday was a pretty standard day. I was back to work, feeling a million times better. And, work was BUSY after a day off, so the day flew by. Other than that, our evening was pretty quiet. Much needed for everybody!

This weeks throwback - doing a little weight check at home on teeny Amelia. So crazy!

Friday was my Friday off, and as usual, that makes me ecstatic! I’ve been letting the girls sleep in on my day off, and dropping them off later, when they wake up. Our elementary school doesn’t start until 9:25, so I really just try to get them there by breakfast. After dropping them off, I had a pretty busy day at home. Our house is SERIOUSLY a disaster right now…every room, every inch of the house. We’re at the point right now where I just sit and stare at the messes and clutter and think “where do I even start?!” Today, I focused on getting the living room and entryway cleaned up. Ay, barely a dent, but a pretty main area of the house that needed to be cleaned up. I also started taking pictures of stuff that I’m going to be selling. As I cleaned, I found more and more stuff that it’s time to say goodbye to. Now, fingers crossed that I can actually get rid of it all! I received Amelia’s baseball information today…we have one more week of freedom! I’m excited and super nervous to see how she does. She’s pretty outgoing, so I think she’ll actually participate, but will she actually listen and pay attention – THAT is the question! We also had a carpet guy out to measure the rooms we want to replace today. Yes…into our disaster of a house. I tried to play it off like we were just doing some spring cleaning/cleaning out…he didn’t seem too fazed by our mess though, so hopefully he’s seem worse! Next up, hopefully next week, we can go in and actually order the carpet we want! I hate the expense, but I’m excited for some fresh, new, clean, SOFT carpet!! After this phase, we’ll have 2 more rooms to replace down the road, and hen we should be set until the kids are older and we don’t have to worry about them ruining it anymore. Other than that, I spent most of the day catching up on shows amidst my cleaning, and Eliza took two really great naps. Happy day! We picked the big girls up from daycare and played outside for a while. Eliza is still pretty unsure of the grass and all that, but she does pretty well. Everything was going fine, everybody was playing nice and getting along, it was a lovely evening. And then…Amelia was screwing around on her swing, flipped over and off of it, and face planted into the ground. Hard. I’m telling you…we’ve had a lot of accidents in the house, a lot of bumps, bruises, scrapes, black eyes. But this, was the scariest thing I’ve ever actually witnessed with our kids. She stood up and there just blood all over her face. Her lips was cut open, her forehead was all scraped up and her nose took the brunt of the impact. After some cleaning up and cuddling, she seemed to be doing alright and started playing again, so I finally started to relax. SCARY!!!!!  Parenting is SO scary! By then, Christian was home. We made dinner, watched some TV, I made a quick Target run, and we settled in for the night. Off to bed for all.

Hanging out, being lazy with my babe!

Fun outside...

(pre-incident)

Saturday was a pretty busy day. Christian was off to work for the day, so it was just me and the girls. We had a quick breakfast, I took a SUPER quick shower, and we were off to swim class. I was nervous about having Eliza there, by myself, now that she’s out of her infant seat, but she actually did really well. Whew! Olivia had her first intermediate class and did GREAT! She is learning a new swim, the “whip kick”. I’ve never even heard of it, I have no idea what it is. The girls think it’s funny when I tell them I don’t even know how to swim. I think it makes Olivia feel so grown up that she can do something I can’t do. It’s cute. After class, we made our way home, had lunch, and Eliza went down for a nice nap. The big girls watched some movies and we all got ready, one by one. Christian arrived home, and got to work taking down all of the Christmas lights on the house. Yes folks, it’s mid-April, and we’re finally taking down the lights. Good Lord. While he did that, the girls and I were off to a birthday party….for Lizzie, Amelia’s little friend from daycare. Lizzie’s mom works at the center, so all of the kids there were other kids from the center, and all of the teachers were there, so it was fun. It’s one party I really don’t need to hawkeye my kids and worry about what they’re up to! And, Eliza had plenty of people to cuddle with. It’s fun to chat with the teachers and get to know them more on a personal level too, outside of drop off’s and pick up’s. After lots and lots of playtime, I packed my crew up, and we made our way home. Christian was just finishing up grilling some chicken and potatoes, so we ate dinner and played outside for a while. The girls were all off to bed, Christian and his friend Lorenzo hung out in the garage for a while, and I cuddled up with my Netflix for a while before passing out. I tell ya, weekends are exhausting!!!

There's the nose, next day. Poor baby.

Ready for the Tea Party Birthday Party!

Sunday was another pretty busy day. The girls must have been pretty exhausted, because they all actually slept in a little. On top of that, after being on solo parenting duty most of the day yesterday, I decided Christian could get up with the girls while I stayed in bed for a little bit. Heaven! We had breakfast, I did a little bit of laundry and we hung out for a while. Then it was time to shower and get everybody ready. Today we were off to my niece’s baby shower, at my dad’s house. It was fun to catch up with my sisters and stepmom, and the girls had a BLAST playing with the other kids (and, of course, my stepmom had all kinds of fun activities to keep them busy), but it was a serious MAD HOUSE. There were SO many people there, it was just pure chaos. We ate, played a few games, and then it took a LONG time for her to get through all of her presents. Then, it was time to head home and settle in. Finally. We had dinner, and everybody was super exhausted, so it was early to bed for all. What a weekend!

A few pics from the shower...

Pre-Bed Snuggles!

Until Next Week! XOXO