Today was a decent day. Amelia yet again wouldn’t sleep. I actually ended up keeping her in bed with us because she just wouldn’t go down. So frustrating! I’ve pretty much decided that we will need to get her in for the sleep study one of these days. Her breathing is not getting better…in fact, it seems the more active she gets, the worse her breathing gets. And, her snoring is bad as ever, including waking herself up several times a night, and gasping for air in her sleep. I was reading up on sleep apnea the other day…it sounds a lot like the issues she has, and one of the “side effects” of apnea in babies is failure to thrive, which could be part of the reason she’s not growing. Although I’m more convinced it’s something with her tonsils and/or adenoids, it does have me thinking, and of course, worried. As I think more of the sleep study, I just hate the thought of it. I can’t imagine seeing my little baby, hooked up to all those wires, all night long. Expected to sleep, freaked out and not understanding what is going on. I’m pretty sure I’d get to stay the night right there in the room with her, at least I would assume so, but that doesn’t ease my mind at all. That’s not even thinking about what could come after…when the results come though. I just hate the thought that there could be something seriously wrong with her…and the thought that it could be something requiring some kind of surgery…let’s not even go there! Christian doesn’t really seem to want to talk about it, and tells me to stop reading stuff on the internet…but I can’t help it. We’ve been debating when to deal with it or what to do next, but I’m guessing getting in for the study sooner rather than later would be better for everybody. But, now I have to deal with the shut down stuff…what if I get her in, and then lose my insurance and we can’t even actually treat anything because I lose my insurance? Ugh, too much to think about!
I ended up picking up the girls after work today, so Christian could take care of the lawn. So, once we finally got home, I started picking up the disaster that has become our house [again] and making dinner. After we ate, we just hung out. Olivia was OUT OF CONTROL again tonight. She would not listen to a word we said, she as acting out really bad towards Amelia, hitting, throwing stuff….just, the definition of an out of control two year old. I finally had enough, and put her in her room for time out. After some yelling and crying and tantrum throwing, she came out and was much better (not great, but better) the rest of the night. We are truly reaching our wits end with her. I just wish we could get through to her, but I have no idea what to do. Like always, time outs do nothing, yelling does nothing, taking things away from her does nothing…she just does not give in to discipline whatsoever. People say “oh, she’s just being a two year old”, but I don’t believe that. It does not seem normal to me…and of course, leaves us wondering what we’ve done wrong to make her act like this, which is just that much more frustrating. And the way she is with Amelia, I just don’t get. Every once in a while, she shows a glimmer of that wonderful big sister I know she can be, but 95% of the time, she’s just horrible towards her. I mean, COME ON, it’s been 10 months, and she just refuses to chance her attitude towards Amelia. I just don’t get it.
Anyway, here is a picture of said two year old. Looking sweet, and innocent and perfect as can be. Now, if only per personality matched that!!! (PS, she is wearing the same thing as yesterday [just in case you notice]…her outfit had to be washed after the popsicle mess, and then she insisted on wearing the shirt again. LOL).
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