My car is STILL not fixed. It is still leaking transmission fluid, and we don't know what to do. Christian is probably going to be taking it to his parent's house again this weekend to give it one more shot. If they can't get it, we're really in a pickle. We can't afford any major repairs, but we also can't afford to have the transmission blow out either. I refuse to just get rid of it, and buy a cheap, used car to get us through...because I'm sure that wouldn't be any more cost efficient than keeping this one running anyway. This is when I get so mad at Christian! About 6 years ago his car gave out on him, so he decided to buy a new car. We were not married or anything at the time, so I had no say whatsoever. One day he comes home and "surprises" me with his stupid little 2-door, 2-wheel drive pick-up truck. Really? First of all, this is Minnesota - you don't buy a 2-wheel drive pick-up truck. Secondly, he's always wanted kids, so, knowing that you are going to have a family in the near future, why would you buy a little 2-door pick-up? So, a couple years later he traded that in for the big pick-up, and we still have another 2+ years left on that loan. If he would have bought this truck to begin with, we'd be done paying for it. Grrrr. So, I have to keep driving my 1999 car with 150,000 miles on it, and try to keep it going until the truck is paid off. NO FUN!
Next problem...the house. I feel like we were completely led astray when we bought it 3 years ago. We didn't have a down payment at the time, but Christian was insistent that we buy rather than wait another year...so, we did. The bank asked us what we thought we could afford a month, we told them our thoughts, and they approved us for that amount. We bought a house at the top of our scale because we knew it was going to be our "forever home"...no starter homes for us. We had to build in mortgage insurance into our payment since we didn't have a down payment...we also have our property taxes and homeowners insurance built into our payment. Our banker assured us that the mortgage insurance would drop off after the first year, and our payment would go down. Well, our payment has gone up all 3 years, we are STILL carrying mortgage insurance and were just told we have to continue until we pay off a certain percentage of the loan AND our escrow has fallen short...again, so we owe the bank a nice chunk of money...again, to make up for it. And the banks wonder why everybody is losing their houses and can't make their payments...it's like they tell you what you want to hear and set you up for failure. I don't get it.
Anyway, it just seems like the issues pile up over and over. Every time I think we're making some headway on our debt, bills and finances in general, something else happens. Every time I think things are getting better, something else happens. But, I know, in the end everything will work out and everything will be just fine. Right now, I need this:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.
Anyways, other than that, today was a pretty low key day. I wanted to get some more Christmas shopping done after work, but Christian had to work late, so I picked up the girls and headed home instead. When I got to his parents house, I knocked on the door and peered in the window to see Olivia running towards the door. She saw me in the window and started yelling "Mommy, Mommy" over and over. As soon as I walked in the door she gave me the biggest bear hug, asked to be picked up, wrapped herself all around me and kept yelling "Mommy" with the most excitement I've ever heard. She was handing out hugs, and kisses and "I Love You's" like they were going out of style. It's like she magically knew I needed that...I needed to be shown that as long as I have my girls, I'll never be short on happiness, joy and laughter. In the end, what more could you really ask for?
Here's a picture of my little Amelia Badelia, learning to sit up by herself (supported) so well!
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