Well, today is 18 Weeks!! I still can't believe it! So close to half way! I'm feeling good, but I'm already starting to feel uncomfortable. Maybe it has to do with the previous c-section, maybe I'm just so tired it's making me uncomfortable, maybe it's just the added energy Olivia requires, but I am UNCOMFORTABLE! I'm now up 3 lbs (trust me, this update will stop once I'm embarrassed by my number!), which doesn't seem like much, but I have this huge belly anyway! I actually like that though :)I've decided I'm adding a little rant to my weekly pregnancy update. Seriously, I swear, being pregnant is so stressful, in so many ways...I've decided to vent to the world about what bugs me. Sit back and enjoy the ride :)
Today's vent is weight..not actually gaining it necessarily, but other peoples' view of it.
With Olivia, I packed on the LBS, from day 1. I never had any morning sickness, I was always hungry, and I subconsciously decided I was "eating for two" and took that literally. By this point, with her, I was already up around 17lbs! On top of it, gaining weight with her happened EVERYWHERE, and my belly didn't grow out, it grew wide. I was so disgusted with myself my entire pregnancy, it actually was starting to depress me. I felt out of control, and like there wasn't anything I could do about it. I still loved being pregnant, but it was really ruining the experience for me.
As I mentioned above, I've so far gained 3 lbs, which doesn't seem like much to me, but I definitely LOOK pregnant. But, everything feels different. I had really bad morning sickness for the first 14/15 weeks, so I actually lost weight, and since, have been slowly putting it on. Some days I'm starving, some days I force myself to eat. BUT, the biggest difference this time, I actually feel OK with myself...I feel like my belly is growing out, much cuter, and I'm not gaining weight everywhere else (at least not yet). I actually have a healthy view of myself.
Now, here's my rant...why do people think it's OK to comment on somebody's weight just because that somebody is pregnant? I've had so many people already tell me how "big" I am "already", and ask "are you sure you aren't having twins". Even Christian, my wonderful husband, looked at me like I had two heads when I told him I've only gained 3lbs...following it up with "how can that be, look at your big tummy"...nice. I'm 18 weeks, already getting these comments...what is it going to be like 10, 15, 20 weeks from now? The worst part about it is that every time somebody says something, it just chips away at my confidence, and I don't want to end up in the place I was in last pregnancy...depressed and upset and overly emotional about it. But what can I do? I know logically people aren't saying things to hurt my feelings or be mean, but it's hurtful. You wouldn't walk up to Jane walking down the street and comment on her sudden weight gain, so why do you think it's OK to comment on it to me just because there is a person growing inside of me?
So, in conclusion, NOTE TO EVERYONE: It is never, I repeat in capital letters, NEVER OK to comment on somebody's weight, body shape or anything of that nature, pregnancy or not!
Until tomorrow!!!
I think you're cute! Don't let what others say or think about you make you feel any less of a person. You have a daughter who loves her, you have a baby growing inside you, and even though husbands can be jerks sometimes, I'm sure he loves you too!
ReplyDeleteBut I agree, the comments about weight when you're pregnant(or not for that matter) are not needed. I never looked like I was pregnant, not even 7 hours before my baby was born. I was already totally self concious about it and didn't need the rest of the world telling me.
As long as you and your doctor are on the same page health wise, don't worry about what everyone else says!
I agree with your blog post about weight. I too went through the same exact thing you did. I gained 80 pounds with Ari :( Have yet to get rid of it. I only gained 19 with Tatum. So weird! You look like you should! Don't let what others say get to you.
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