2014- Week 27

Monday marked officially one month until I’m back to work. Seriously, where does the time go?!? It’s so unfair, I’m SO not ready. After a good night of sleep, the day ended up being quite frustrating. She continues having trouble eating and nursing has become very frustrating again. It’s like newborn painful all over again, constant, and she’s super fussy. While she’s growing, latching and I’m definitely producing milk, nursing has been a challenge this time around. My feelings have been really negative towards it…I feel tied down, I feel like I can’t go anywhere or do anything. The pain coming and going has been miserable. It’s just been rough. Nothing like with Amelia. While she nursed a TON in the first couple of months, I never felt like this. I’m hoping that I can overcome these feelings and stop myself from giving up. I’m debating adding in some formula supplementing, but we’ll see. I haven’t made a decision yet. I don’t want to…I’d love for her to make it the full year formula-free, like Amelia, but if it saves my sanity, I think it may be best for everybody. Every day I just wake up and pep talk myself into making it through one more day. Aside from that frustration, the big girls were home with us and they were OUT OF CONTROL, all day long. They just drive each other insane. They fight non-stop, they argue over everything, they pick on each other. It’s just exhausting. ALL.DAY.LONG. I’ve never had a sibling, but I think it’s completely over the top. All I know is, them going back to school full time when I return to work is going to be a blessing for many. They need the separation, they need the time apart, or I’m pretty sure they are going to kill each other. Luckily, we all survived the day though. We had some dinner, Christian took them outside to play for a while before bed, and they last day of June came to an end.

Tuesday brought us a new month. It’s officially July…we’re officially halfway through 2014. Can you believe it! This year is just buzzing by! The big girls were back off to school today, so things were slightly less chaotic. I loaded up the clothes I wasn’t able to finish drying this weekend (thanks to the broken dryer), and headed across the street to our friend Sara’s house. She let me take over her dryer, and we spent some time catching up and visiting. She got in lots of baby cuddles while I got a little break, and folded laundry. It was definitely nice to get out of the house for a little while. Once home, I got Eliza fed, put her in her swing, and eventually she passed out, all on her own! It’s rare, but man do I love when that happens. While she slept, I ate some lunch myself and did a little cleaning around the house. Things were moving along smoothly, until some a**hole solicitor knocked on the door…OVER AND OVER again (I do not answer the door, especially when home alone), sending our annoying Chihuahua into a tizzy. Luckily for everybody involved, Eliza somehow slept through it, or this guy would have been lucky to leave our doorstep alive. I HATE SOLICITORS! I need a sign, for real. Our neighbors have one…they are must smarter than I. Eliza woke up refreshed and we had a good evening. Christian picked the girls up on his way home, we had some dinner, took baths and relaxed. Tonight I was reminded of one of the reasons I adore co-sleeping so much (and, trust me, there was a day I thought people were insane for doing such a thing…childless and naïve!). As I was getting Eliza to sleep, laying her down, she woke up. I started to panic, thinking we were going to have to start our whole little routine over again, but she just caught my eye, gave me a little smirk and drifted off to sleep. It’s so perfect. She just seemed so at ease, realizing that sure enough, I was still cuddled up right next to her. I just love this girls to pieces!

Wednesday marked Olivia’s ½ birthday! She is official 5½, and she will definitely tell you so! It honestly feels like just yesterday she was born. It feels like it was just HER so small and helpless, needing me for everything. She’s definitely not my baby anymore (technically anyway)…she’s so smart, so full of life. She’s a giant, ready to start kindergarten in just over 2 months. She’s become my little helper, and loves taking care of Eliza. I can’t believe how fast time goes, and how lucky we are to get to watch her grow up and become her own person. It’s just truly amazing. While she and that naughty 3 year old were off to school for the day, Eliza and I had a pretty standard day around the house. Pretty quiet in fact. Christian left work a tad early to run to an appliance store and get the pieces he needs to fix the dryer. Then, spent the evening fixing said dryer. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…I’m so lucky to have a husband who loves to take apart cars and appliances and attempt to fix them. I can’t imagine the money we’d have spent over the years if he didn’t!

Olivia also turned 5 1/2 today! So crazy, she's growing up!

On Thursday, it started becoming very apparent that Eliza just does not like to nap. I try so hard to get her to nap and she just fights it with all of her might. One, maybe 2 days a week she takes a nice, good, lengthy nap. Otherwise, it’s cat nap heaven around here. It wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t clearly exhausted, and clearly needing a real nap, because man does she get crabby. I think part of the problem is that she can be a pretty lazy nurser and likes to doze off on and off while eating. That should work itself out as she gets a little older though. And, I just have to say, I HATE the dog next door. Well, maybe I should rephrase that…I hate the owners of the dog next door. We live next to quad-homes, and the one right next to us has a dog…a big dog, retrieverish. Of course they have no yard and/or fence, so they chain him up every time he goes outside. He immediately starts barking/yipping and continues to do so the entire time he’s out. Today he was out there a large majority of the day, and I was getting beyond fed up (with the noise, and the fact that this poor dog was chained up by himself all day). I was thisclose to calling the police station about it, but thought better of it. He’s not being abused by any means, and I’m returning to work in a few weeks and won’t have to deal with it much after that, so it wasn’t worth rocking the neighbor boat. It was probably the first time I’ve been grateful for Chuy…while he drives me pretty crazy, he rarely barks, and never really does when outside, so at least I don’t have to deal with that. Tonight I was a pretty hormonal basket case. Tomorrow is the 4^th of July. Typically, we have friends and family over for the local parade, a BBQ and we light off some fireworks. I decided I had already been roped into 3 BBQ’s that I did not want to host since having Eliza, I just was not in the mood for a 4^th of July one this year. I wanted to actually relax and enjoy the holiday this year, rather than run around like crazy making sure everybody else enjoyed it. Christian still insists on lighting off fireworks tomorrow, even though I told him he’ll be doing it by himself because I’m taking the girls to watch the REAL fireworks this year. So, I made him get some little, fun fireworks and sparklers to do with the girls tonight, and planned on having a bonfire and some s’mores. Of course, he was busy running all over until pretty late, and by the time he got home Eliza was so crabby and would not go to sleep for anything. So, I had to stay inside getting her to sleep while they had a bonfire…I felt so overwhelmed, so hormonal, it was ridiculous. Like I had explained earlier this week, I felt like I was missing out on everything (while I could nurse her and try to get her to sleep out in the yard, I didn’t want her by the bonfire obviously). While logically I know that it’s one time, and we have plenty of bonfire opportunities in the future, I can’t think logically in the moment. Just not my day.

My throwback Thursday this week, in honor of the 4th of July tomorrow, was a picture of watch of the girls' first 4th of July. So Cute!

Friday was officially the 4^th of July. While it felt very strange to not be preparing for a house full of friends and family, it felt pretty amazing to have a nice, relaxing morning. We had some breakfast and hung out around the house all morning, we loaded up the wagon and stroller and walked down to our spot along the parade route and settled in (yes, OUR spot…if you want to actually see the parade, you must go out the day before the parade and reserve your spot. It’s ridiculous to me.). The girls had such a great time. Each year they get more and more into the parade. They get more candy, they admire the floats and entertainment a little more, they appreciate everything a little more. It’s fun to watch. Eliza happened to sleep through most of the parade (somehow, loud marching bands and all), which made for a more relaxing day for us as well. After the parade, we stopped home to change and feed Eliza, then made our way to the local carnival for a few hours. Olivia’s BFF, Bella, and her dad met us there so the girls had a blast playing together and going on all of the rides. They had a special $10.00 unlimited ride wristband going on, so that was AWESOME! They got to go on each ride a couple times and were so excited. Eliza again slept through most of the event…clearly, she’s making up for her lack of sleep the last few days. We let the big girl play one game…where you throw the ping pong balls into fish bowls. Well, Christian helped them, and of course, we went home with two Goldfish (I don’t have faith that they will last long). We all made our way back to the house to let off the girls’ fireworks and relax for a while. We brought Eliza’s swing outside, and she eventually dozed off, again, for a while. A couple more friends stopped over to hang out (while it wasn’t planned, it was informal, so not stressful!) and watch the little fireworks…and they hung out to do the big fireworks with Christian, while the girls and I were off to my mom’s to watch the real fireworks. She can see the fireworks in her city right from her balcony, so it was very convenient. The big girls ate some food, I fed the baby, and we settled in just in time to watch the show. So cool – I hadn’t seen a real fireworks display in years – in fact, I don’t think Amelia ever has, and Olivia was just an itty bitty, so they were pretty excited. We made our way home right after the show, and straight to bed. All in all, this year was a perfect 4^th of July!

Saturday was a lovely, lazy (HOT) day. With the holiday, we didn’t have swim lessons this week, so the morning was nice and relaxed. No rushing out the door bright and early for this crew! We had breakfast, played outside for a while and just hung out. After a while, we packed up and headed over our friend Mariano’s apartment so the girls could play with Bella and we could all enjoy the day by his pool. The girls would not get out of the water for anything. I did a little swimming, and then a little sunbathing, and it was perfection. Eliza continued her wonderful routine for the weekend and just slept the afternoon away by the pool. We’ve been getting mighty lucky with her sleeping, that’s for sure! After we were all waterlogged enough, we went back to Mariano’s place for some pizza and playtime for the girls. By the time we arrived home, it was basically bedtime, and we were all exhausted! Sun and water, nothing better to make a couple of little girls pass right out!

Sunday was a pretty low key day around the house. I did some laundry and a little picking up (but, of course, being on leave it’s wonderful that I don’t actually have to worry about finishing my chores…It’s one thing I really relish in during my maternity leave, actually having time to get stuff done!), we hung out with the girls and played outside for a while again. Eventually, the big girls were off to spend the night at my mom’s house. She has tomorrow off work, so she has a day out and about planned with them tomorrow. Christian and I decided to take advantage of being 2 kids down, and took a risk heading to Applebee’s for dinner with the babe. It didn’t work out too well…she wanted out of her car seat the minute we got there, and, of course, was starving a few minutes later. We decided to break down and give her her first bottle of formula. I haven’t been pumping a ton…and, I have to make sure I have a little stash of what I do get for when I return to work, and I’ve been debating adding some in for a while, so we gave in and went for it tonight. I wanted a peaceful dinner out, and, I REALLY wanted to indulge in a Perfect Margarita….I’ve been dying for one pretty much since I got pregnant (of course), and tonight was going to be the night! She took the bottle well. I’m feeling a little guilty right now (and, please don’t read that as formula bashing – I absolutely have NOTHING against formula, Olivia was 98% formula fed, and she’s perfect as can be, LOL), but I do think giving ourselves a little flexibility will be helpful in the long run. I was talking to some friends about it and one of them pointed out exactly what I needed to accept…with each child you add to the family, dynamics change. Sometimes things aren’t always as convenient with each added child…sometimes I don’t have an hour to sit down and nurse her when I have a 3 and 5 year old with me needing something. And, I just need to accept that…which I am. I swear.

Olivia drew me a picture of my favorite animal. Pretty dang good if you ask me!

“Funny” story to end the week, I’ve been seeing previews for a new fall show called “Selfie” – it looks horrible – and guess what the lead character’s name is. Guess. ELIZA! What?! I mean, I know the name is not unheard of...but it is pretty dang rare, so that caught me off guard. Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against common names, popular names, etc. I mean, come on…I’m Ashley, my husband is Christian – you don’t get more “normal” than that. When we named Olivia, I swear I had never heard the name before. I know, you think I’m crazy, but it’s true. I think it was really just hitting its peak around the time she was born. Our method for naming Olivia was me looking through a baby name book, making a list of I think 8 names that I really liked, giving it to Christian to narrow it down to what he likes, and we were pretty much left with Olivia. We both really loved it, it just clicked. Once she was born, GOOD LORD it was everywhere. I couldn’t believe it was like #3 on the baby list. How had I not been hearing it around if it was so popular? Anyway, it doesn’t bother me. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous to worry about how common or popular a name may be…especially this day in age. To this day, I’ve never met another Olivia in person, there’s never been one at daycare (in any of the classes), so for as popular as a name might be, it’s not like back when we were kids. Next up was Amelia. I can’t even tell you where Amelia came from…but I stuck to it like glue from the day we found out she was a girl. Christian would not agree to it…yet, would not suggest anything else. So, we were about a week from our due date and he finally agreed. It’s not nearly as popular as Olivia, but it still fairs pretty well. Yet, again, I’ve never met another Amelia in person either. Once she was born, we realized that our girls, and Christian’s three nieces names all end with an “a”, so we decided if we had another girl, it had to keep with that tradition (honest, it was not intentional before that – for us anyway). We also decided we’d stick with a vowel as a first letter like our other girls. When pregnant for the last time, though we didn’t know (for sure) she was a girl, I ended up with two girl names that I really liked, Eliza and Elaina. Again, Christian wasn’t too keen on either. Again, Christian had no suggestions. We literally went to the hospital with no agreement on names, boy or girl. She came out and after some time the nurse asked us if she had a name…I looked at him and he gave in to Eliza. Other than Eliza Doolittle and Eliza the actress from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, I’ve never hear it before (and it’s not super popular on the name lists). Now that this new show is coming out, it’s bound to gain in popularity, even though the show looks horrible. It just cracks me up. Each name has gotten a little more “out there” (and yes, I realize my “out there” is much more tame than most would define it), yet still fairly common.

Until Next Week XOXO

2014 - Week 26

On Monday, with last week’s “all-clear”, I started up my new diet and exercise plan. I have a series of programs by a trainer that I really like, Lindsey Brinn, and I’m starting off with her “Post-Natal Boot Camp” program. It worked really well for me in the past, so I’m hoping to see the same results. As far as dieting, I won’t necessarily be restricting myself, just watching what I eat and making some better choices. Now, we’ll have to see how things go. I’ll have to first see how my foot holds up. It’s been 7 weeks since the break, but it’s still fairly sensitive and I don’t want to risk any permanent damage. And, we’ll have to see how my milk supply handles the changes. I won’t risk nursing, and eventually pumping, issues to lose weight. For today, I got my workout in, even with the 3 girls home, so go me! The big girls spent most of the morning playing dress-up and acting like princesses (seriously, TOO much diva in our house!). After naps, we all made our way up to the park to play for a while. Eliza actually took a little snooze (with the help of a pacifier, for a change!), so we were able to stay for quite a while. I’m not sure if I’ve posted about it at all, but none of our girls have taken a pacifier. With Olivia, we thought it was our choice to be pacifier free. I never wanted to battle trying to take it away, so we weren’t going to allow her to have one. Turns out, she really just never needed one, she was so dang easy. Amelia was a HUGE comfort nurser, but we didn’t want to cause any of the dreaded nipple confusion, so we withheld the pacifier. Eventually, we had to start giving her a bottle of pumped milk in the evenings to break up her cluster feeding. That went well, so we thought we’d give in and try a pacifier as well to help her learn to self soothe a little bit. No matter how much we tried, she would not take it. Sometimes I could slip her off the breast and onto the pacifier swiftly enough to get her to sleep, but that was about it. With Eliza, we’ve pretty much been trying to get her to take a pacifier from week 1. I could tell immediately she was going to be another comfort nurser. We tried the soothies (which it seems EVERY baby takes), for quite a while, to no avail. We’re now trying Avent, and it’s going a little better, but it’s still a struggle. I know that in the long run, just like with Amelia, we’ll one day be very happy if she doesn’t take a pacifier, to never fight the battle of taking it away, but it’s still frustrating. Nevertheless, she let me hold it in her mouth long enough to doze off for a while, and that’s really what I want it for. The rest of the evening was pretty standard…dinner, baseball and bedtime.

Tuesday was a rough day. I woke up just completely exhausted, my entire body ached from yesterday’s workout, my head was completely stuffed up (PLEASE be an allergy thing and NOT a cold that I could pass on to baby) and my eye is hurting pretty bad, and seems a little swollen. Again, hopefully an allergy thing that will go away. To top it off, Eliza was NOT a happy camper today. She was absolutely miserable, all day long, with nothing but cat naps. Not sure what is going on with her, but hopefully it passes quickly. It ended up being a very, VERY long day. But, I did get my workout in (barely), so that is a major plus in my book! While I had myself a quick, healthy dinner, Christian picked up food for the rest of the house because I was way too exhausted.

Wednesday was not as tough as Tuesday, but still not great. I was feeling a little better, but Eliza is back to nursing pretty much all day, and was really fussy every time I tried to feed her. Again, I just barely got my workout in today, but of course, I’m starting to worry that her new nursing issues are related. It could be a growth spurt though, so we’ll see how the next few days go. I picked the big girls up today with a little picnic in hand and we met Christian at baseball. We quickly made our way home after baseball for the premier of Big Brother. This is absolutely my all-time favorite show, so the wait for it to come back every summer is so painful. When we first bought our house and signed up for cable we had some movie channels for a free trial period. We had Showtime, which showed “Big Brother After Dark” where you could watch the “houseguests” for a few hours late at night…I became obsessed, I’d be up WAY too late, it was ridiculous. Yeah, it’s sad, but I don’t care. I love this show, and that was my excitement for the day!

LOVE our sunflowers!

Thursday was again a successful day in the workout department! Yes! It was the hardest day by far though. I was cuddled up with Eliza in bed, trying to get her down for a nap, and definitely did not want to get up when she finally dozed off. Who wants to leave a cuddly bed with a super cuddly baby to work out?!? Not this lady. You better believe I crawled right back in once I finished cooling down afterwards! My aches and pains are going away, and I’m feeling much better than I did when the week started, but my eye has continued to swell, and is getting pretty bad. I took a Claritin yesterday, and it did help clear my head up, but didn’t seem to help with the swelling at all, so I don’t think it’s allergy related. We’ll see how things go tomorrow, I may be heading to Urgent Care tomorrow night if it doesn’t start looking better. It hit me today that Amelia’s birthday/party is in a month. A MONTH. I haven’t done any planning or preparing, which is so very unlike me. Time to start cracking the whip and get this thing planned! So, between feedings and baby play time, I made some party invitations up and sent them to Christian to print off at his work for me. Just have to get them addressed and sent out, it’s going to be here before I know it!

My Throwback photo this week, in honor of getting Olivia's baseball pictures this week, a comparison to my first t-ball picture. SO crazy.

Resting with by babe. She makes it hard to get out of bed!

Friday was a pretty rough day. My eye is definitely no better…still very painful and actually almost swollen shut now. The big girls were home with us today, so it was tough trying to handle everything, but we just pushed through as much as we could. Christian always works really late on Friday, so luckily my mom came over to watch the girls so I could get to Urgent Care right when they opened. I was going to bring Eliza with me, thinking on a Friday night, in the summer, it shouldn’t be too bad, but my mom said it should be fine. They were going to walk up to the park, and Eliza likes to be outside, so I figured she’d survive for a short time. I arrived at Urgent Care a bit after they opened and the waiting room was pretty much empty. But, I was still told it was going to be about an hour wait. WHAT?! Apparently two kids had come in needing stiches, and the Urgent Care nurse had not shown up yet, so everything else was basically on hold. I was so mad, but what can you do. They finally brought me back, checked me in, and after another short wait, the doctor finally came in. After a quick exam, she checked out my eye and said it appeared I have a scratch on my eye, and it’s causing an infection. She started me on antibiotics, which was also quite an ordeal, and sent me on my way. I cannot have the penicillin line, and breastfeeding limits the medication I can take even more, so it took a while for her to decide what I can take most safely. By then, the pharmacy at the clinic was closed, so I had to have the prescription sent to Target. I was getting too nervous about being away from Eliza, so I decided to head home and make Christian pick up my prescription on his way home. I relieved my mom just as she had gotten home and changed Eliza’s diaper…and just as she started getting fussy and hungry. She left, I fed the baby and we settled in for the night. Christian grabbed some dinner and stopped at Target on his way home, and we were all pretty exhausted by bedtime.

On Saturday, we were up and ‘em bright and early. We had breakfast, got ready and packed up our bags for the day. First up, we were off to swim class…my first outing with my horrible swollen eye. I was getting plenty of creeped out looks, which was pretty awesome. While is still looked horrible, I will say, it was already starting to feel better. Thankfully this clears everything up quickly. After swim class and showering off, we were all off to Game Day. Game Day, as I’ve explained in years past, is our annual “family reunion”, where my Dad’s side of the family gets together. We have a croquet tournament, play other various outdoor games, eat lots of junk food, order pizza for dinner and spend the day laughing, chatting and catching up. Eliza did really well…she actually let a few people hold her, and she slept quite a bit. She LOVES being outside. The big girls had a blast playing with all of the other kids, and were beyond exhausted by the time we left. It was our first Game Day without our grandparents, which felt pretty strange. You could definitely feel something missing from the day, and it was kind of the big white elephant in the room for all of us. But, it was still great to get together. All of us cousins got to go through some of our grandparents’ stuff, which was really nice. The girls each found a few things to bring home, and I collected some holiday decorations my Grandma had made. Just a few things to remember them by. I spent a little time inside nursing Eliza, but we did give her one of her first ever bottles in the evening to give me a little break, and tide her over for a while. She ended up falling asleep around 7:00, just as the tournament was coming to an end. Also just as some storms started rolling in. We packed the van up, said our goodbyes and made our way home. Amelia passed out on the way home and went right to bed. Eliza was still asleep when we arrived home to, so we let her be. We let Olivia watch a video while I unpacked our travel bag. She was off to bed, Christian passed out on the couch and I folded a load of laundry while watching some TV, waiting for Eliza to wake up. By 10:30 she was still knocked out, and I was getting exhausted, so I took a risk and went to lay down and catch a few z’s. I woke up around 1:00, and she was still fast asleep, and I was VERY uncomfortable, so I decided to pump and hope she didn’t wake up right away. I ended up pumping 8oz’s, by far the most I have every pumped in a sitting, and made my way back to bed. She didn’t end up waking up until around 4:00. I couldn’t believe it! Apparently some fresh air really does a baby good!

The trinkets the girls collected from my Grandparents' house.

Sunday was a pretty good day. After a great night of sleep, and a late morning, I was feeling pretty refreshed for the first time in quite a while. Christian whipped up some breakfast, while I spent most of the day doing laundry. Christian and the big girls helped his Dad work on his car for a while, and then were off to our friend Mariano’s house to go swimming with Olivia’s BFF. Apparently my invitation got lost in the mail, so I spent the day with little Eliza. She hasn’t been napping well lately, which has been pretty frustrating. And she’s still been having some trouble with nursing…nursing a lot and getting really fussy and irritated while eating. While I thought it could be coincidence or a growth spurt, I think it has to be related to my diet and exercise changes. I’ve decided that I need to just scale it back, and give it a break for now. While I want nothing more than to shed this weight and get in shape, it’s just not worth the risk of losing/decreasing my supply to obtain. I just need to make good choices about what I’m eating, and stop worrying about calories. And just do some walking and light activity for now, and understand that I have plenty of time to focus on the weight once I’m done nursing. The girls came home from swimming bouncing off the walls and crabby as can be. We grilled and ate dinner, and by then, I was so over their fighting and bad attitudes, they were sent to bed. Ugh! It was not a pleasant end to the week, but hopefully the new week brings some cheerier attitudes!

The Garden, when planted, and today. Growing like crazy!

Tomatoes

Cucumbers

Zucchini

Tomatillos

Strawberries

Pumpkins

Our beautiful lilies, my favorite!

Until Next Week XOXO